going out; when she comes in I'll tell
her: 'Your brother came in while you were out. Where have you been all
this time?' You mustn't spoil me, Rodya, you know; come when you can,
but if you can't, it doesn't matter, I can wait. I shall know, anyway,
that you are fond of me, that will be enough for me. I shall read what
you write, I shall hear about you from everyone, and sometimes you'll
come yourself to see me. What could be better? Here you've come now to
comfort your mother, I see that."

Here Pulcheria Alexandrovna began to cry.

"Here I am again! Don't mind my foolishness. My goodness, why am I
sitting here?" she cried, jumping up. "There is coffee and I don't offer
you any. Ah, that's the selfishness of old age. I'll get it at once!"

"Mother, don't trouble, I am going at once. I haven't come for that.
Please listen to me."

Pulcheria Alexandrovna went up to him timidly.

"Mother, whatever happens, whatever you hear about me, whatever you are
told about me, will you always love me as you do now?" he asked suddenly
from the fullness of his heart, as though not thinking of his words and
not weighing them.

"Rodya, Rodya, what is the matter? How can you ask me such a question?
Why, who will tell me anything about you? Besides, I shouldn't believe
anyone, I should refuse to listen."

"I've come to assure you that I've always loved you and I am glad
that we are alone, even glad Dounia is out," he went on with the same
impulse. "I have come to tell you that though you will be unhappy, you
must believe that your son loves you now more than himself, and that all
you thought about me, that I was cruel and didn't care about you, was
all a mistake. I shall never cease to love you.... Well, that's enough:
I thought I must do this and begin with this...."

Pulcheria Alexandrovna embraced him in silence, pressing him to her
bosom and weeping gently.

"I don't know what is wrong with you, Rodya," she said at last. "I've
been thinking all this time that we were simply boring you and now I see
that there is a great sorrow in store for you, and that's why you are
miserable. I've foreseen it a long time, Rodya. Forgive me for speaking
about it. I keep thinking about it and lie awake at nights. Your sister
lay talking in her sleep all last night, talking of nothing but you. I
caught something, but I couldn't make it out. I felt all the morning
as though I were going to be hanged, waiting for something, expecting
somethin