re you in for?" asked the Governor.

"I held a high office," the Convict humbly replied, "and sold subordinate
appointments."

"Then I decline to interfere," said the Governor, with asperity; "a man
who abuses his office by making it serve a private end and purvey a
personal advantage is unfit to be free. By the way, Mr. Warden," he
added to that official, as the Convict slunk away, "in appointing you to
this position, I was given to understand that your friends could make the
Shikane county delegation to the next State convention solid for--for the
present Administration. Was I rightly informed?"

"You were, sir."

"Very well, then, I will bid you good-day. Please be so good as to
appoint my nephew Night Chaplain and Reminder of Mothers and Sisters."

Religions of Error

Hearing a sound of strife, a Christian in the Orient asked his Dragoman
the cause of it.

"The Buddhists are cutting Mohammedan throats," the Dragoman replied,
with oriental composure.

"I did not know," remarked the Christian, with scientific interest, "that
that would make so much noise."

"The Mohammedans are cutting Buddhist throats, too," added the Dragoman.

"It is astonishing," mused the Christian, "how violent and how general
are religious animosities. Everywhere in the world the devotees of each
local faith abhor the devotees of every other, and abstain from murder
only so long as they dare not commit it. And the strangest thing about
it is that all religions are erroneous and mischievous excepting mine.
Mine, thank God, is true and benign."

So saying he visibly smugged and went off to telegraph for a brigade of
cutthroats to protect Christian interests.

The Penitent Elector

A Person belonging to the Society for Passing Resolutions of Respect for
the Memory of Deceased Members having died received the customary
attention.

"Good Heavens!" exclaimed a Sovereign Elector, on hearing the resolutions
read, "what a loss to the nation! And to think that I once voted against
that angel for Inspector of Gate-latches in Public Squares!"

In remorse the Sovereign Elector deprived himself of political influence
by learning to read.

The Tail of the Sphinx

A Dog of a taciturn disposition said to his Tail:

"Whenever I am angry, you rise and bristle; when I am pleased, you wag;
when I am alarmed, you tuck yourself in out of danger. You are too
mercurial--you disclose all my emotions. My notion is th