for the defence of a burglar whom the
police had taken after a desperate struggle with someone not in custody.
In consultation with his client the Lawyer asked, "Have you accomplices?"

"Yes, sir," replied the Burglar. "I have two, but neither has been
taken. I hired one to defend me against capture, you to defend me
against conviction."

This answer deeply impressed the Lawyer, and having ascertained that the
Burglar had accumulated no money in his profession he threw up the case.

The Fabulist and the Animals

A Wise and illustrious Writer of Fables was visiting a travelling
menagerie with a view to collecting literary materials. As he was
passing near the Elephant, that animal said:

"How sad that so justly famous a satirist should mar his work by ridicule
of people with long noses--who are the salt of the earth!"

The Kangaroo said:

"I do so enjoy that great man's censure of the ridiculous--particularly
his attacks on the Proboscidae; but, alas! he has no reverence for the
Marsupials, and laughs at our way of carrying our young in a pouch."

The Camel said:

"If he would only respect the sacred Hump, he would be faultless. As it
is, I cannot permit his fables to be read in the presence of my family."

The Ostrich, seeing his approach, thrust her head in the straw, saying:

"If I do not conceal myself, he may be reminded to write something
disagreeable about my lack of a crest or my appetite for scrap-iron; and
although he is inexpressibly brilliant when he devotes himself to censure
of folly and greed, his dulness is matchless when he transcends the
limits of legitimate comment."

"That," said the Buzzard to his mate, "is the distinguished author of
that glorious fable, 'The Ostrich and the Keg of Raw Nails.' I regret to
add, that he wrote, also, 'The Buzzard's Feast,' in which a carrion diet
is contumeliously disparaged. A carrion diet is the foundation of sound
health. If nothing else but corpses were eaten, death would be unknown."

Seeing an attendant approaching, the wise and illustrious Writer of
Fables passed out of the tent and mingled with the crowd. It was
afterward discovered that he had crept in under the canvas without
paying.

A Revivalist Revived

A Revivalist who had fallen dead in the pulpit from too violent religious
exercise was astonished to wake up in Hades. He promptly sent for the
Adversary of Souls and demanded his freedom, explaining that he was
en