be to erect an emolument sootably
inscribed wid his vartues."

The soul of the great man looked down from Heaven and wept.

A Needless Labour

After waiting many a weary day to revenge himself upon a Lion for some
unconsidered manifestation of contempt, a Skunk finally saw him coming,
and posting himself in the path ahead uttered the inaudible discord of
his race. Observing that the Lion gave no attention to the matter, the
Skunk, keeping carefully out of reach, said:

"Sir, I beg leave to point out that I have set on foot an implacable
odour."

"My dear fellow," the Lion replied, "you have taken a needless trouble; I
already knew that you were a Skunk."

A Flourishing Industry

"Are the industries of this country in a flourishing condition?" asked a
Traveller from a Foreign Land of the first man he met in America.

"Splendid!" said the Man. "I have more orders than I can fill."

"What is your business?" the Traveller from a Foreign Land inquired.

The Man replied, "I make boxing-gloves for the tongues of pugilists."

The Self-Made Monkey

A Man of humble birth and no breading, who held a high political office,
was passing through a forest, when he met a Monkey.

"I take it you are one of my constituents," the Man said.

"No," replied the Monkey; "but I will support you if you can urge a valid
claim to my approval."

"I am a self-made man," said the other, proudly.

"That is nothing," the Monkey said. And going to a bigger pine, he rose
by his own unaided exertions to the top branch, where he sat, all
bedaubed with the pitch which that vegetable exudes. "Now," he added, "I
am a self-made Monkey."

The Patriot and the Banker

A Patriot who had taken office poor and retired rich was introduced at a
bank where he desired to open an account.

"With pleasure," said the Honest Banker; "we shall be glad to do business
with you; but first you must make yourself an honest man by restoring
what you stole from the Government."

"Good heavens!" cried the Patriot; "if I do that, I shall have nothing to
deposit with you."

"I don't see that," the Honest Banker replied. "We are not the whole
American people."

"Ah, I understand," said the Patriot, musing. "At what sum do you
estimate this bank's proportion of the country's loss by me?"

"About a dollar," answered the Honest Banker.

And with a proud consciousness of serving his country wisely and well he
charged tha