said the poet, "do you expect me to reproduce the entire poem
from memory?"

"Only the substance of it--just the leading facts. We will add whatever
is necessary in the way of amplification and embellishment. It will
detain you but a moment.

"'The autumn leaves were falling, falling--'

"Now, then."

There was a sound of a slow getting up and going away. The chronicler of
passing events sat through it, motionless, with suspended pen; and when
the movement was complete Poesy was represented in that place by nothing
but a warm spot on the wooden chair.

The Taken Hand

A Successful Man of Business, having occasion to write to a Thief,
expressed a wish to see him and shake hands.

"No," replied the Thief, "there are some things which I will not
take--among them your hand."

"You must use a little strategy," said a Philosopher to whom the
Successful Man of Business had reported the Thief's haughty reply. "Leave
your hand out some night, and he will take it."

So one night the Successful Man of Business left his hand out of his
neighbour's pocket, and the Thief took it with avidity.

An Unspeakable Imbecile

A Judge said to a Convicted Assassin:

"Prisoner at the bar, have you anything to say why the death-sentence
should not be passed upon you?"

"Will what I say make any difference?" asked the Convicted Assassin.

"I do not see how it can," the Judge answered, reflectively. "No, it
will not."

"Then," said the doomed one, "I should just like to remark that you are
the most unspeakable old imbecile in seven States and the District of
Columbia."

A Needful War

The people of Madagonia had an antipathy to the people of Novakatka and
set upon some sailors of a Novakatkan vessel, killing two and wounding
twelve. The King of Madagonia having refused either to apologise or pay,
the King of Novakatka made war upon him, saying that it was necessary to
show that Novakatkans must not be slaughtered. In the battles which
ensued the people of Madagonia slaughtered two thousand Novakatkans and
wounded twelve thousand. But the Madagonians were unsuccessful, which so
chagrined them that never thereafter in all their land was a Novakatkan
secure in property or life.

The Mine Owner and the Jackass

While the Owner of a Silver Mine was on his way to attend a convention of
his species he was accosted by a Jackass, who said:

"By an unjust discrimination against quadrupeds I