ecided it, and judgment has been entered for the full
amount that you sued for."

"Did I say I would give you one half?" said the Man of Experience in
Business, coldly. "Dear me, how near I came to being a rascal. I mean,
that I am greatly obliged to you."

The Return of the Representative

Hearing that the Legislature had adjourned, the people of an Assembly
District held a mass-meeting to devise a suitable punishment for their
representative. By one speaker it was proposed that he be disembowelled,
by another that he be made to run the gauntlet. Some favoured hanging,
some thought that it would do him good to appear in a suit of tar and
feathers. An old man, famous for his wisdom and his habit of drooling on
his shirt-front, suggested that they first catch their hare. So the
Chairman appointed a committee to watch for the victim at midnight, and
take him as he should attempt to sneak into town across-lots from the
tamarack swamp. At this point in the proceedings they were interrupted
by the sound of a brass band. Their dishonoured representative was
driving up from the railway station in a coach-and-four, with music and a
banner. A few moments later he entered the hall, went upon the platform,
and said it was the proudest moment of his life. (Cheers.)

A Statesman

A Statesman who attended a meeting of a Chamber of Commerce rose to
speak, but was objected to on the ground that he had nothing to do with
commerce.

"Mr. Chairman," said an Aged Member, rising, "I conceive that the
objection is not well taken; the gentleman's connection with commerce is
close and intimate. He is a Commodity."

Two Dogs

The Dog, as created, had a rigid tail, but after some centuries of a
cheerless existence, unappreciated by Man, who made him work for his
living, he implored the Creator to endow him with a wag. This being done
he was able to dissemble his resentment with a sign of affection, and the
earth was his and the fulness thereof. Observing this, the Politician
(an animal created later) petitioned that a wag might be given him too.
As he was incaudate it was conferred upon his chin, which he now wags
with great profit and gratification except when he is at his meals.

Three Recruits

A Farmer, an Artisan, and a Labourer went to the King of their country
and complained that they were compelled to support a large standing army
of mere consumers, who did nothing for their keep.