The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 100.,
Jan. 31, 1891, by Various

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Title: Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 100., Jan. 31, 1891

Author: Various

Release Date: July 31, 2004 [EBook #13067]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, JAN. 31, 1891 ***

Produced by Malcolm Farmer, William Flis, and the Online Distributed
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PUNCH,

OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

VOL. 100.

January 31, 1891.

VOCES POPULI.

A ROW IN THE PIT; OR, THE OBSTRUCTIVE HAT.

SCENE--_The Pit during Pantomime Time._

_The Overture is beginning._

[Illustration]

_An Over-heated Matron_ (_to her Husband_). Well, they don't give
you much _room_ in 'ere, I _must_ say. Still, we done better than
I expected, after all that crushing. I thought my ribs was gone
once--but it was on'y the umbrella's. You pretty comfortable where you
are, eh. Father?

_Father_. Oh, I'm right enough, I am.

_Jimmy_ (_their Son; a small boy, with a piping voice_). If _Father_
is, it's more nor what _I_ am. I can't see, Mother, I can't!

_His Mother_. Lor' bless the boy! there ain't nothen to _see_ yet;
you'll see well enough when the Curting goes up. (_Curtain rises on
opening scene_). Look, JIMMY, ain't _that_ nice, now? All them himps
dancin' round, and real fire comin' out of the pot--which I 'ope it's
quite safe--and there's a beautiful fairy just come on, dressed so
grand, too!

_Jimmy_. I can't see no fairy--nor yet no himps--no nothen! [_He
whimpers_.

_His Mother_ (_annoyed_). Was there ever such a aggravating boy to
take anywheres! Set quiet, do, and don't fidget, and look at the
hactin'!

_Jimmy_. I tell yer I can't _see_ no hactin', Mother. It ain't my
fault--it's this lady in front o' me, with the 'at.

_Mother_ (_perceiving the justice of his complaints_). Father, the
pore boy says he can't see where he is, 'cause of a lady's hat in
front.

_Father._ Well, _I_ can't 'elp the 'at, can I? He must put up with it,
that's all!

_Mother._ No--but I thought, if you wouldn't mind changing places with
him--you're taller than him, and it wouldn't be in y