n. Catch early cattle-train going back to
Berlin. Jump on engine, and declare myself. Wire approach down line,
and tear away with the cattle, at seventy miles an hour, getting
back to Berlin just in time for breakfast. Fancy I woke them up!
Altogether, a very enjoyable outing.

* * * * *

[Illustration: GENUINE ENTHUSIASM.

(_A Thaw Picture_.)

WHAT MATTER AN INCH OR TWO OF SURFACE-WATER, IF THE ICE BE STILL SOUND
UNDERNEATH!]

* * * * *

"ROUGE ET NOIR!"

OR, JONATHAN'S PERPLEXING PROBLEM.

(_SOME WAY AFTER HOSEA BIGLOW'S "JONATHAN TO JOHN."_)

_Jonathan (who has been reading the Articles on "The Negro Question in
the United States," in the English "Times") loq._:--

It may be ez you're right, JOHN,
And both my hands _are_ full;
_You_ know ez I can fight, JOHN,
(I've wiped out "Sitting Bull").
Ole Uncle S. sez he, "I guess
We see our fix," sez he.
"The 'Thunderer's' paw lays down the law,
Accordin' to J.B.
To square it's left to _me_!"

Blood ain't so cool as ink, JOHN;
Big words are easy wrote;
The "coons"--well, you don't think, JOHN,
I'll let 'em cut my throat.
Ole Uncle S. sez he, "I guess
Ghost-dance must stop," sez he.
"Suppose the 'braves' and black ex-slaves
Hed b'longed to ole J.B.
Insted of unto me?"

Ten art'cles in your _Times_, JOHN,
Hev giv me good advice.
I mind th' old Slavery crimes, JOHN.
I don't need tellin' twice.
Ole Uncle S. sez he, "I guess,
I only guess," sez he,
"Seven million blacks on his folks' backs
Would kind o' rile J.B.
Ez much ez it riles me!"

The Red Man,--well, I s'pose, JOHN,
We'll hev to wipe _him_ aout.
Sech pizonous trash ez those, JOHN,
The world kin do without.
Ole Uncle S. sez he, "I guess
Injuns must go," sez he.
"COOPER's Red Man won't fit our plan,
Though he once witched J.B.
As once he fetched e'en _me_!"

The Black Man! Ah, that's wuss, JOHN.
The chaps wuz right, ay _joost_,
Who said the Slavery cuss, JOHN,
Wud yet come home to roost.
Ole Uncle S. sez he, "I guess
The problem set," sez he,
"By that derned Nig. is black and big,
And fairly puzzles me,
Ez it wud do J.B."

Your _Times_ would right our wrongs, JOHN,
--Always _wuz_ sweet on us!--
But on dilemma's prongs, JOHN,
To fix me don't _you_ fuss.
Ole Uncle S.