We _may_ get some straight-tips from that Coptic papyrus!

* * * * *

ROBERT ON SKATIN'.

Well, I begins to agree with them as says, and says it too as if they
ment it, that noboddy can reelly tell what is reel grand injiyment
till they trys it, and trys it farely, and gives it a good chance. I
remembers how I used to try and like Crikkit, when I was much yunger
than I am now, and stuck to it in spite of several black eyes when I
stood pint, and shouts of, "Now then, Butter-Fingers!" when I stood
leg, till a serten werry fast Bowler sent me away from the wicket with
two black and blew legs, and then I guv it up. I guv up Foot Ball for
simler reesuns, and have never attemted not nothink in the Hathlettick
line ewer since, my sumwat rapid increase in size and wait a hading me
in that wise resolooshun.

But sumhow it appened, dooring the hawful whether we has all bin a
shivering threw for this long time, that I found my atenshun direckted
to the strange fack that, whilst amost ewerybody was busily engaged
in a cussin and swarin at the bitter cold and the dirty slippery sno,
ewerybody else seemed to be injying of theirselves like wun-a-clock.
Now it so appened that when waiting one day upon the young swell I
have before spoken of, at the "Grand 'Otel," he was jined by another
swell, who told him what a glorius day's skating he had been avin in
Hide Park! and how he ment to go agen to-morrer, "if the luvly frost
wood but continue!"

So my cureosety was naterally egsited, and nex day off I gos to Hide
Park, and there I seed the xplanation of what had serprised me so
much. For there was hunderds and hunderds of not only spectably drest
Gents, but also of reel-looking Ladys, a skatin away like fun, and
a larfing away and injying theirselves jest as if it had bin a nice
Summer's day. Presently I append to find myself a standing jest by a
nice respectabel looking man, with a nice, cumferal-looking chair,
and seweral pares of Skates; and presently he says to me, quite
permiscus-like, "They all seems to be a injying theirselves, don't
they, Sir?" which they most suttenly did; and then he says to me, says
he, "Do you skate, Sir?" to which my natral pride made me reply, "Not
much!" "Will you have a pair on. Sir," says he, "jest for a trial?"
"Is there any fear of a axident?" says I. "Oh no. Sir," says he, "not
if you follers my hinstrucshuns." So I acshally sets myself down
in his chair, and le