of condign punishment for it, from my
inward remorse on account of my forfeited character. But the least ray
of hope could not dart in upon me, without my being willing to lay hold
of the very first opportunity to communicate it to you, who take so
generous a share in all my concerns.

Nevertheless, you may depend upon it, my dear, that these agreeable
assurances, and hopes of his begun reformation, shall not make me forget
my caution. Not that I think, at worst, any more than you, that he dare
to harbour a thought injurious to my honour: but he is very various,
and there is an apparent, and even an acknowledged unfixedness in his
temper, which at times gives me uneasiness. I am resolved therefore to
keep him at a distance from my person and my thoughts, as much as I can:
for whether all men are or are not encroachers, I am sure Mr. Lovelace
is one.

Hence it is that I have always cast about, and will continue to cast
about, what ends he may have in view from this proposal, or from that
report. In a word, though hopeful of the best, I will always be fearful
of the worst, in every thing that admits of doubt. For it is better, in
such a situation as mine, to apprehend without cause, than to subject
myself to surprise for want of forethought.

Mr. Lovelace is gone to Windsor, having left two servants to attend me.
He purposes to be back to-morrow.

I have written to my aunt Hervey, to supplicate her interest in my
behalf, for my clothes, books, and money; signifying to her, 'That, if I
may be restored to the favour of my family, and allowed a negative only,
as to any man who may be proposed to me, and be used like a daughter,
a niece, and a sister, I will stand by my offer to live single,
and submit, as I ought, to a negative from my father.' Intimating,
nevertheless, 'That it were perhaps better, after the usage I have
received from my brother and sister, that I may be allowed to be distant
from them, as well for their sakes as for my own,' (meaning, as I
suppose it will be taken, at my Dairy-house)--offering, 'to take my
father's directions as to the manner I shall live in, the servants I
shall have, and in every thing that shall shew the dutiful subordination
to which I am willing to conform.'

My aunt will know by my letter to my sister how to direct to me, if she
be permitted to favour me with a line.

I am equally earnest with her in this letter, as I was with my sister
in that I wrote to her, to obtain for m