conciliation, in
which I shall be so great, so irreparable a sufferer!--Any thing but
that--include me in your terms: prescribe to me: promise for me as you
please--put a halter about my neck, and lead me by it, upon condition
of forgiveness on that disgraceful penance, and of a prostration as
servile, to your father's penance (your brother absent), and I will
beg his consent at his feet, and bear any thing but spurning from him,
because he is your father. But to give you up upon cold conditions,
d----n me [said the shocking wretch] if I either will, or can!

These were his words, as near as I can remember them; for his behaviour
was so strangely wild and fervent, that I was perfectly frighted. I
thought he would have devoured my hand. I wished myself a thousand miles
distant from him.

I told him, I by no means approved of his violent temper: he was too
boisterous a man for my liking. I saw now, by the conversation that had
passed, what was his boasted regard to my injunctions; and should
take my measures accordingly, as he should soon find. And, with a half
frighted earnestness, I desired him to withdraw, and leave me to myself.

He obeyed; and that with extreme complaisance in his manner, but
with his complexion greatly heightened, and a countenance as greatly
dissatisfied.

But, on recollecting all that passed, I plainly see that he means not,
if he can help it, to leave me to the liberty of refusing him; which I
had nevertheless preserved a right to do; but looks upon me as his, by a
strange sort of obligation, for having run away with me against my will.

Yet you see he but touches upon the edges of matrimony neither. And
that at a time, generally, when he has either excited one's passions
or apprehensions; so that one cannot at once descend. But surely this
cannot be his design.--And yet such seemed to be his behaviour to my
sister,* when he provoked her to refuse him, and so tamely submitted, as
he did, to her refusal. But he dare not--What can one say of so various
a man?--I am now again out of conceit with him. I wish I were fairly out
of his power.

* See Vol.I. Letters II. and III.

He has sent up three times to beg admittance; in the two last with
unusual earnestness. But I have sent him word, I will finish what I am
about.

What to do about going from this place, I cannot tell. I could stay
here with all my heart, as I have said to him: the gentlewoman and her
daughters are desirous that