table wives; and
although I join with you in opinion, that husbands may have as many
inconveniencies to encounter with, as conveniencies to boast of, from
women, of that character; yet Lady Hartley perhaps would have had milder
treatment from your pen, had it not been dipped in gall with a mother in
your eye.

As to the money, you so generously and repeatedly offer, don't be angry
with me, if I again say, that I am very desirous that you should be able
to aver, without the least qualifying or reserve, that nothing of that
sort has passed between us. I know your mother's strong way of putting
the question she is intent upon having answered. But yet I promise that
I will be obliged to nobody but you, when I have occasion.

LETTER XLIII

MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE [IN CONTINUATION.]

And now, my dear, a few words, as to the prohibition laid upon you; a
subject that I have frequently touched upon, but cursorily, because I
was afraid to trust myself with it, knowing that my judgment, if I did,
would condemn my practice.

You command me not to attempt to dissuade you from this correspondence;
and you tell me how kindly Mr. Hickman approves of it; and how obliging
he is to me, to permit it to be carried on under cover to him--but this
does not quite satisfy me.

I am a very bad casuist; and the pleasure I take in writing to you, who
are the only one to whom I can disburden my mind, may make me, as I have
hinted, very partial to my own wishes: else, if it were not an artful
evasion beneath an open and frank heart to wish to be complied with, I
would be glad methinks to be permitted still to write to you; and only
to have such occasional returns by Mr. Hickman's pen, as well as cover,
as might set me right when I am wrong; confirm me, when right, and guide
me where I doubt. This would enable me to proceed in the difficult path
before me with more assuredness. For whatever I suffer from the
censure of others, if I can preserve your good opinion, I shall not be
altogether unhappy, let what will befall me.

And indeed, my dear, I know not how to forbear writing. I have now no
other employment or diversion. And I must write on, although I were not
to send it to any body. You have often heard he own the advantages I
have found from writing down every thing of moment that befalls me; and
of all I think, and of all I do, that may be of future use to me; for,
besides that this helps to form one to a style, and opens and expan