erica shortly.

***

A Chicago Girls' Club has decided that its members shall have nothing to
do with young men. It is certainly getting to be an effeminate habit.

***

_The Daily Mail_ has presented a golden slipper for the actress with the
smallest feet. The slipper, we understand, is quite new and has never
been used on anybody.

***

An American gentleman is about to offer for sale his corkscrew, or would
exchange for something useful.

***

A very mean theft is reported from West Ealing. Not content with
stealing the loose silver a burglar is reported to have stolen the
muzzle from off the watch-dog.

***

The New Cross Fire Brigade have been awarded a Challenge Cup for the
quickest work. This brigade is now open to book a few orders for fires
during August, when they have several open dates.

***

We understand that a couple of young cheeses were kidnapped from a
Crouch Hill warehouse last week.

***

It is a surprising fact, says a contemporary, that when LENIN was born
his parents were practically penniless. The greater mystery is that his
parents decided to keep him.

***

A statistical expert has estimated that if all the questions asked by
Mr. SMILLIE at the Coal Commission's sittings were placed one before the
other they would lead to nowhere.

***

Over one hundred posters illustrating the danger of house-flies have
been exhibited in the Enfield district. It is doubtful whether this will
have the desired effect, for it is well known that flies cannot read.

***

The price of a first-class interment, says a contemporary, has risen
from L3 18s 0d. to L5 15s. 0d. The result is that many people
have decided to try to do without one this year.

***

The arrival in England of a rare mosquito is reported by the
South-Eastern Union of Scientific Societies. It seems that the insect
had worked its passage to the British Museum. We think that a sharper
look-out should be kept on mosquitoes arriving at our ports.

***

A painful episode is reported from Yarmouth. It appears that a visitor,
desirous of taking home a souvenir of his holiday, thoughtlessly filled
a bottle with sea water at low tide, with the result that just before
high tide the bottle burst, inflicting serious injuries on the
passengers in the railway carriage in which he was travelling.

***

Out of nine applicants for the p