m London, rushing on with his fingers in his ears. No doubt as to who
it was--the WAR LORD in a state bordering on delirium. Having calmed
down a little, he began to sing:--

For years and years I'd waited,
Preparing for _The Day_----
The day that meant for Germany
A universal sway.
Alas, alack,
For my set back!

At this point a number of tea-trays were smitten resonantly "off." Tommy
dramatically heard them and sang:--

What's that that smites upon my ear,
The sound of cruel guns I hear,
That sound of fear?

More tea-tray.

The British, French and Russians
They are murdering my Prussians:
Why did I make this war?
They're in my way by day, by night:
In vain, in vain I take to flight,
I'll hear them evermore----
Those guns! Those guns!

Tremendous applause, while Tommy prepared for the second verse and Aunt
Louisa's great effect.

Alas! for my ambition,
My glory passed away!
What is there left of Germany
But misery to-day?
Alack, alas,
For such a pass!

Here on several concertinas in different parts of the hall, as well as
upstairs, was heard, "It's a long way to Tipperary." Tommy began to
behave like a maniac. He rushed about more wildly than before. He
stopped his ears. He tried to hide. Then he began to sing again:--

What's that that bursts upon my ear,
That overwhelming song I hear,
That sound of fear?
Though brave my men and wary,
They've been done by "Tipperary;"
Why did I make this war?
It's in my brain by day, by night,
In vain, in vain I take to flight,
I'll hear it evermore--
That song! That song!

Now came the great dramatic effect. On to the stage climbed, in the
latest revue manner, from all parts of the house, the army of which I
had the honour to be one, all pointing the finger of doom at the
cringing Tommy Thurlow. Having got him well into our midst and broken to
the world, we sang at him these stirring lines to a too familiar tune:--

It's a long way to get to Paree,
It's a long way to go;
It's the wrong way through little Belgium,
The wrongest way we know.
Good-bye, KAISER BILLY;
Farewell, O mein Herr;
It's a long, long way to St. Helena,
But your home's right there!

Terrific success; and, after some moments of reluctance, Aunt Louisa,
still knitting a sock, was induced to bow.

But it wasn't a bad first effor