et down at Hythe.
Seen the new embrace?"

"Er--no," I said, putting a chair between us, "I don't think I have; but
I'm not feeling affectionate this morning. I'm going to lunch."

Thank goodness, if I do meet a spy, I've got a truncheon and a whistle.

* * * * *

MAKING THE BEST OF IT.

"Now that supplies of German chemicals and drugs are not procurable,
sufferers from nervous dyspepsia, etc., should give a trial to
nervous dispepsia, etc."

_Bristol Evening Times._

_Sufferer (after trial)._ "No, it's just as painful spelt with an 'i'."

* * * * *

"Other Petrograd despatches state that an increase in taxation by
one-half is expected.... It is believed the increase will produce a
milliard of troubles."--_The Mirror (Trinidad)._

We think better of Russian patriotism.

* * * * *

"Four or five had been landed at Ramsgate.
It was a comparatively fine, peaceful morning.
People were resting on the promenade
enjoying the sea, and the fresh air anglers of
both sexes were calmly fishing from the pier."

_Glasgow Herald._

A hardy race, these South Coast fresh-air anglers. Our idea of November
sport with the rod is sniggling for goldfish in the conservatory.

* * * * *

Illustration: THE EAGLE COMIQUE.

KAISER (_reviving old Music-hall refrain_). "HAS ANYBODY HERE SEEN
_CALAIS_?"

* * * * *

Illustration: THE RULING PASSION.

"'TEN-_SHUN_! FORM _FOURS_!"

* * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

(EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.)

_House of Commons, Wednesday, 11th November._--Both Houses met for what
will be last Session of ever-memorable Parliament. Usual ceremony at
State Opening by KING, but atmosphere distinctly different from that
familiar on such occasions. No crowd talking and gesticulating in Lobby
before SPEAKER takes the Chair. That done, Benches seemed strangely
empty. In Commons, as in Lords, most men wore mourning, the gloom a
little lightened here and there by khaki uniform. Whilst LEADER OF
OPPOSITION and PRIME MINISTER spoke Members sat silently attentive. Only
now and then subdued cheer indicated approval of a statement or a
sentiment. There was sign neither of depression nor elation. The
country, fitly represented within these four walls, has undertaken a
great task, its perfo