same
time. Ye'd call it a tiff in ye'er fam'ly, Hinnissy.

"But, mind ye, none iv these raisons go in anny two States. A man that
wants to be properly divoorced will have to start out an' do a tour iv
our gr-reat Republic, an' be th' time he's thurly released he may want
to do it all over agin with th' second choice iv his wild, glad heart.

"It wud be a grand thing if it cud be straightened out. Th' laws ought
to be th' same ivrywhere. In anny part iv this fair land iv ours it shud
be th' right iv anny man to get a divoorce, with alimony, simply be
goin' befure a Justice iv th' Peace an' makin' an affydavit that th'
lady's face had grown too bleak f'r his taste. Be Hivens, I'd go
farther. Rather than have people endure this sarvichood I'd let anny
man escape be jumpin' th' conthract. All he'd have to do if I was
r-runnin' this Governmint wud be to put some clothes in th' grip, write
a note to his wife that afther thinkin' it over f'r forty years he had
made up his mind that his warm nature was not suited to marredge with
th' mother iv so manny iv his childher, an' go out to return no more.

"I don't know much about marrid life, except what ye tell me an' what I
r-read in th' pa-apers. But it must be sad. All over this land onhappily
mated couples ar-re sufferin' almost as much as if they had a sliver in
their thumb or a slight headache. Th' sorrows iv these people ar-re
beyond belief. I say, Hinnissy, it is th' jooty iv th' law to marcifully
release thim.

"Ye take th' case iv me frind fr'm Mud Center that I was readin' about
th' other day. There was a martyr f'r ye. Poor fellow! Me eyes filled
with tears thinkin' about him. Whin a young man he marrid. He was a
fireman in thim days, an' th' objict iv his etarnal affection was th'
daughter iv th' most popylar saloon keeper in town. A gr-reat socyal
gulf opened between thim. He had fine prospects iv ivinchooly bein'
promoted to two-fifty a day, but she was heiress to a cellar full iv
Monongahela rye an' a pool table, an' her parents objicted, because iv
th' diffrence in their positions. But love such as his is not to be
denied. Th' bold suitor won. Together they eloped an' were marrid.

"F'r a short time all wint well. They lived together happily f'r twinty
years an' raised wan iv th' popylous fam'lies iv people who expect to be
supported in their old days. Th' impechuse lover, spurred on be th'
desire to make good with his queen, slugged, cheated, an' wurruked his