"'Mr. Smooth,' I modestly returned, 'would prefer the General sat down
and calmly listen to how he came by his pretty manners. Somebody has
said, a man was known by the society he keeps. Be this as it may,
General, I don't come here to cast a single reflection on you; nor
would I proclaim to the fellow citizens of these United States that
you are in any wise accountable for what I am going to say and
disclose.' The General, somewhat struck by my demeanor, took a seat,
nervously, and applied his ear, while I extinguished the cigar, and
commenced summoning my thoughts. 'Having no manners when I left home,
General, I naturally depended for them upon those whom my mission
brought me in contact with. Now, General!--and this I would were held
strictly confidential between ourselves--when I got on the other side
of the water, (here I gave him a touch he understood), being your
Minister in General I naturally fell in and associated with your
Ministers in particular; and such a lot they were! I couldn't trust my
virtue in the company of one of them: albeit, in their company, you
were sure not to get into decent society. Foreign victims of
misgovernment had long viewed America as a land from whence came the
plain unostentatious gentleman of sense. How sad to think that they
had of late been so grievously disappointed! They are only men of
coarse manners, and low of bringing up, assuming the democrat, while
aping the snobism of the aristocrat. General, they are of your own
selecting; and, mark me, I only name it here out of sincere regard for
you, not expecting it to get abroad. In fact, General, the people of
Europe find they have been deluded. They see us affecting contempt for
the very fooleries we seek to imitate; they see these, your chosen,
playing the coarse ruffian to the end. To the foreign mind Americans
are America--to its chosen they look for the embodiment of its
institutions It cannot comprehend that the mongrel-mixture you have
sent abroad constitute the very essence of that ill opinion gained of
us by misrepresentation. This, General, is strictly private--only
intended for your own good. It were folly to look for pretty manners
in me after my connection with your chosen on the continent of Europe!
In London I found things all in a fuddle,--the head of the house
having dwindled into obscurity, while the juniors had been in all
sorts of business but that for which they had been paid and sent to
discharge; indeed, the