ere to supper; not before I
had nearly poisoned myself with a concoction that old CRAMMERLY was
asserting loudly, was an "'80 wine."

_Charlie_ (_laughing_). Ah! my dear friend, _I_ had been there before,
and knew the ropes. Took pretty good care to steer clear of the wine,
and got a chap to give me a whiskey-and-soda.

_Uninvited Member._ May I ask where was this charming Party?

_Algy._ At the CRAMMERLY's, Prince's Gate. Colonel CRAMMERLY.

_Uninvited M._ Colonel CRAMMERLY! Let's see, was he an old Crimea man?

_Algy._ _No_!--He _was_ Colonel in the Bounders Green Volunteers.
(_Roars of laughter._) You know "CRAMMERLY's Starch"--made a fortune
out of it.

_Charlie._ He must have spent a bit of it last night. They say the
flowers alone cost over a thousand pounds.

[Illustration]

_Enter_ Captain O.

_Captain O._ Talking about the Colonel CRAMMERLY Party, eh? (_To_
Uninvited M.) Were you there?

_Uninvited M._ (_very satirically_). Oh, dear no! I fear I'm not
smart enough to warrant my admittance into that _charmed_ and _select_
circle. [_Roars of laughter._

_Capt. O._ By Jove, you were well out of it. (_Addressing the Club
generally._) Did--you ever see such--eh?

_Charlie._ I want to know where the deuce they get their men from.

_Algy._ I fancy they discover them in the City.

_Jack._ _I_ never met--such shocking people before.

_Capt. O._ Too dreadful for words. I could only conclude they must
have been relations. [_Roars of laughter._

_Jack._ By the way, did you notice that there was a "bounder" who was
reversing?

_Uninvited M._ (_with great indignation_). No!!!

_Jack._ I tell you it's a positive fact--I know it to my cost; for I
was dancing with that youngest daughter, you know--the one who has the
fluffy fringe over her forehead--and the brute bounced against us,
and sent us flying. Never even apologised. If I could have got him
outside, I declare I would have given him a deuced good hiding. A man
like that ought to be kicked.

_Uninvited M._ Were the women any better?

_Algy._ Well, if you call Mrs. DASH any better!

_Uninvited M._ (_with tragic intensity_). You _don't_ mean to say
_she_ was there!

_Algy._ I _do_.

_Uninvited M._ But do you mean to say that Mrs. CRAMMERLY has heard--

_Jack._ No. She's deaf. [_Laughter._

_Uninvited M._ Well, you _do_ surprise me! (_After a long pause._) Any
other shining lights of London Society?

_Jack._ No--except that fearful Mrs.