, or more, to only three.
Add labour to your motley crew,
Subtract (from life) a church or two.
Produce, with geometric skill,
The lines of many a promised bill.
But state--the Unionists to vex--
That Home Rule always equals _x_.
Raise, in a rash, disastrous hour,
Campaigning Ireland to a power.
And thus, to prayers and protests deaf,
Bisect the Empire. _Q.E.F._

* * * * *

PRETENCE VERSUS DEFENCE.

SCENE--_Whitehall. Time--The Present. Enter Universal
Inspector-General, accompanied by Mr. Admiralty Official._

_Universal Inspector-General._ So you are going to have Naval
Manoeuvres after all, Mr. Admiralty Official?

_Mr. Adm. Official._ Yes, General, we are.

_Un. Ins.-Gen._ And are you going to do anything new this time?

_Mr. Ad. Off._ Nothing more than the usual meaningless cruising.

_Un. Ins.-Gen._ I read something about the landing of the wounded?

_Mr. Ad. Off._ Ah--that _is_ new! We are going to "assume" a number
of wounded. To quote from the _Regulations_--"Before the ships leave
for the ports, officers in command of fleets and squadrons are to
communicate to each Commander-in-Chief, by telegraph, the aggregate
number of assumed wounded that may be expected to reach his port."

_Un. Ins.-Gen._ Tell me what do we want with these pointless
Manoeuvres? Wouldn't it have answered everyone's purpose if there
had been a lecture in lieu of them at the Royal United Service
Institution?

_Mr. Ad. Off._ I should not be surprised.

_Un. Ins.-Gen._ Then why run into this unnecessary expense?

_Mr. Ad. Off._ You really must ask my successor!

[_Exeunt severally._

* * * * *

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CANVASS.

(_A PURELY IMAGINARY SKETCH._)

[Illustration: "_You_ know 'ow to do it!"]

SCENE--_A Portico in Portman Square. Mr. BENJAMIN GULCHER
(an ardent Radical Artisan, canvassing the district on behalf
of a "pal" of his, who is putting up as a Labour Candidate),
discovered on the doorstep._

_Mr. Gulcher_ (_to himself--after knocking_). Some might think it was
on'y waste of time me callin' at a swell 'ouse o' this sort--but them
as lives in the 'ighest style is orfen the biggest demmycrats. Yer
_never_ know! Or p'raps this Sir NORMAN NASEBY ain't made his mind up
yet, and I can tork him over to _our_ way o' thinking. (_The doors
are suddenly flung open by two young men in a very plain and