his Magic hat, and brought out
from it a cup of coffee, half-a-dozen recently-washed handkerchiefs,
and a white mouse. The last item caused us to be hurriedly expelled
from the Palace. It appears that the Sultan greatly objects to mice.
The Interpreter should have informed me of this peculiarity.

_Sixth Day._--Received a message from His Majesty to the effect that
he would be glad to see me and Herr VON KLEVERMANN again, on the
condition that nothing objectionable should be produced from the
Magic hat. Herr VON KLEVERMANN once more gave a _seance_. The eminent
entertainer extracted from the Gibus a portmanteau, a soup-tureen, and
a lady's watch. His Majesty greatly delighted. He signed the Treaty,
and possessed himself of the hat.

_Seventh Day._--Knowing that it was as well to leave the country as
soon as possible, started early. Herr VON KLEVERMANN had expressed
his doubts whether His Majesty would be satisfied. It appears that
the Magic hat requires a good deal of preparation to be effective. The
Herr's forebodings of evil were speedily verified. The Mission had
not gone a mile before we were followed by the entire army. We made a
demonstration with the machine-gun, which had the effect of destroying
six or seven brigades of the enemy. The Sultan in person, declared
that he considered the Treaty null. Nothing to do but retire as best
we could.

_Eighth Day._--Deeply regret failure of the Mission. However, find
that the King and Queen of the Cannibal Islands are anxious for
annexation to England. They seem impressed with the notion that
the British Government have power to cause a flow of spirits from
the Inexhaustible Bottle which, since the departure of Herr VON
KLEVERMANN, has ceased to yield alcoholic drinks. Of course, shall do
nothing in this new matter until I receive further instructions.

_Ninth Day._--Embarked on my return home.

* * * * *

[Illustration: FANCY PORTRAIT.

THE RIGHT MAN IN THE RIGHT PLACE--BENNETT, M.P. FOR LINCOLN.]

* * * * *

ADVICE TO THE G.O.M.

(_FROM A MATHEMATICAL TORY._)

Take forty-two, and carry eight
(Eight hours, I mean), then mind your eye;
Bring all your items up to date,
And do your best to multiply
Your sheep by next subtracting votes
From over-suffraged Tory goats.
By Registration Law perplexed,
Take "qualifying periods" next,
And at one swoop reduce with glee
Twelve months