in' for a Labour Candidate this Election.

_Lady N._ I really cannot answer for my husband's views on political
matters, Mr.--a--SQUELCHER; I make it a rule _never_ to interfere.

_Mr. G._ Jest what _my_ old woman sez. I've learnt her not to argy
with _me_ on politics. But, yer see, a deal depends on the way a
thing is _done_, and--(_insinuatingly_)--a good-lookin' woman liks
yourself--(Lady N. _gasps out a faint little "Oh!" here_)--oh, I'm
on'y tellin' yer what yer know already--'ud find it easy enough to get
her better 'alf to vote _her_ way, if she chooses. You take him some
evenin'--say a Saturday, now--when he's jest 'ad enough to feel 'appy,
and coax him into giving his vote to QUELCH. _You_ know 'ow to do it!
And he's the _right_ man, mind yer, QUELCH is--the right _man_!

_Lady N._ (_almost inaudibly_). How--how _dare_ you come into my
house, and offer me this impertinent advice! How--?

_Mr. G._ (_good-temperedly_). Easy there, Lady--no impertinence
intended, I'm sure. I shouldn't come in 'ere, intrudin' on the sacred
privacy of the British 'Ome, which I'm quite aware an Englishman's
'Ouse is his Castle--and rightly so--if I didn't feel privileged like.
I'm _canvassing_, I am!

_Lady N._ You are taking a most unpardonable liberty, and, if you have
the _slightest_ sense of decency--

_Mr. G._ (_imploringly_). Now look 'ere--don't let us 'ave a vulgar
_row_ over this! I ain't goin' to lose _my_ temper. Strike--but 'ear
me! If we don't think alike, there's no reason why you and me should
fall out. I put that to _you_. It's likely enough you don't _know_ JOE
QUELCH?

_Lady N._ (_with temper_). I never heard of the man in my life!

_Mr. G._ (_triumphantly_). See there, now. That's where canvassing
comes in, d'yer see? It's our honly way of combating the hignirance
and hapathy of the Upper Classes. Well, I'll tell yer somethink
_about_ 'im. QUELCH worked as a lighterman on a barge fourteen years
for eighteen bob a-week. Ain't _that_ a Man of the People for yer? And
if he gits into Parliment, he'll insist on Labour bein' served fust;
he's in favour of Shortened Hours of Labour, Taxation o' Ground
Rents, One Man one Vote, Triannual Parliments and Payment o' Members,
Compulsory Allotments, Providin' Work by Gov'ment for the Unemployed,
Abolition o' the 'Ouse o' Lords, and a Free Breakfast Table. Ah, and
he means _'aving_ it too. That's what JOE is. But look 'ere, why
not come and 'ear what he's got to say for