ler. I don't fancy that she is very
subtile."

"You, Letitia," I retorted, "remind me of Mrs. Nickleby. You ramble on
so."

Letitia looked offended. She always declared that Dickens "got on her
nerves." She was one of the new-fashioned readers who have learned to
despise Dickens. Personally, I regretted only his nauseating sense of
humor. Letitia placed a cushion behind my head, smoothed my forehead,
kissed me, made her peace, and settled down by my side. Lack of
nourishment made me drowsy, and Letitia's babblings sounded vague and
muffled.

"It is a most inclusive little book," she said, "and if I can succeed in
memorizing it all I shall be quite at home with the language. In fact,
dear, I think I shall always keep Swedish cooks. Hark at this: 'If the
wind be favorable, we shall be at Gothenburg in forty hours.' '_Om
vinden aer god, sa aero vi pa pyrtio timmar i Goteborg._' I think it is
sweetly pretty. 'You are seasick.' 'Steward, bring me a glass of brandy
and water.' 'We are now entering the harbor.' 'We are now anchoring.'
'Your passports, gentlemen.'"

A comfortable lethargy was stealing o'er me. Letitia took a pencil and
paper, and made notes as she plied the book. "A chapter on 'seeing a
town' is most interesting, Archie. Of course, it must be a Swedish town.
'Do you know the two private galleries of Mr. Smith, the merchant, and
Mr. Muller, the chancellor?' 'To-morrow morning I wish to see all the
public buildings and statues.' '_Statyerna_' is Swedish for statues,
Archie. Are you listening, dear? 'We will visit the Church of the Holy
Ghost, at two, then we will make an excursion on Lake Maelan and see the
fortress of Vaxholm.' It _is_ a charming little book. Don't you think
that it is a great improvement on the old Ollendorff system? I don't
find nonsensical sentences like 'The hat of my aunt's sister is blue,
but the nose of my brother-in-law's sister-in-law is red.'"

I rose and stretched myself. Letitia was still plunged in the
irritating guide to Sweden, where I vowed I would never go. Nothing on
earth should ever induce me to visit Sweden. If it came to a choice
between Hoboken and Stockholm, I mentally determined to select the
former. As I paced the room I heard a curious splashing noise in the
kitchen. Letitia's studies must have dulled her ears. She was evidently
too deeply engrossed.

I strolled nonchalantly into the hall, and proceeded deliberately toward
the kitchen. The thick carpet deadened