O. Indeed!

GNAT. If I accomplish this,
I claim, that you agree to throw your doors,
Present or absent, always open to me;
A welcome, uninvited guest forever.

THRASO. I pawn my honor as the pledge.

GNAT. I'll try.

PHAED. What voice is that? Oh, Thraso!

THRASO. Gentlemen,
Good-day!

PHAED. Perhaps you're not acquainted yet
With what has happen'd here?

THRASO. I am.

PHAED. Why then
Do I behold you in these territories?

THRASO. Depending on----

PHAED. Depend on naught but this!
Captain, I give you warning, if, henceforth,
I ever find you in this street, although
You tell me, "_I was looking for another,
I was but passing through_," expect no quarter.

GNAT. Oh fie! that is not handsome.

PHAED. I have said it.

GNAT. You can not be so rude.

PHAED. It shall be so.

GNAT. First grant me a short hearing: if you like
What I propose, agree to't.

PHAED. Let us hear!

GNAT. Do you retire a moment, Thraso! (_THRASO retires._) First,
I must beseech you both, most firmly think,
That I, whate'er I do in this affair,
For my own sake I do it: but if that
Likewise advantage you, not to agree
In you were folly.

PHAED. What is't you propose?

GNAT. I think you should admit the Captain, as
Your rival.

PHAED. How? admit him?

GNAT. Nay consider!
Phaedria, you live at a high rate with her,
Revel, and feast, and stick at no expense.
Yet what you give's but little, and you know
'Tis needful Thais should receive much more
Now to supply your love without your cost,
A fitter person, one more form'd, can't be
Than Thraso is: first, he has wherewithal
To give, and gives most largely: a fool too,
A dolt, a block, that snores out night and day;
Nor can you fear she'll e'er grow fond of him;
And you may drive him hence whene'er you please.

PHAED. What shall we do? (_To CHAEREA._)

GNAT. Moreover this; the which
I hold no trifle, no man entertains
More nobly or more freely.

PHAED. I begin
To think we've need of such a fool.

CHAER. And I.

GNAT. Well judg'd! and let me beg one favor more;
Admit me of your family!--I have
Roll'd this stone long enough.

PHAED. We do admit you.

CHAER. With all our hearts.

GNAT. And you, Sirs, in return,
Shall pledge me in the Captain; eat him; drink him:
And laugh at him.

CHAER. A bargain!

PHAED. 'Tis his due.

GNAT. Thraso, whene'er you please, approach!

THRASO. Pray now,
How stands the case?

GNAT. Alas! they knew you not!
But when I