d again, and there was in her face
an expression of acute pain. The ladies did not notice it, for they
were deep in a discussion as to the exact date of Kromitzki's arrival;
but I had noticed it and it grated upon my nerves, for it reminded me
that that very day she had to submit to his caresses. I was furious,
and at the same time ashamed for that blush of hers. In my love there
are many great thorns, but there are also a multitude of small,
hideous ones. Before that unlucky remark of Pani Celina's I felt
almost happy because I had the illusion that I was travelling with
Aniela as my affianced wife. Now in one moment the good disposition
fled. I felt resentment towards Aniela, and I showed it in my manners.
She noticed it at once, and when we arrived at Vienna and were left
alone for a moment, she asked:--

"Are you angry with me about something?"

"No, but I love you," I said curtly.

Her face grew sad. She thought, perhaps, that I had grown tired of the
peaceful current of our life, and the old Leon had come back again.
I felt angry with her, but angrier still with myself, that all my
philosophy and consciousness did not serve to give me the mastery over
the slightest sensations.

I went at once to Angeli, but when I arrived at his studio it was
six o'clock and the studio was closed. Aniela will be rested, and
to-morrow I will go with her. I have changed my idea. I do not want
her in a ball-dress, showing her arms and shoulders; I will have her
as she is every day, and as I love her most.

In the evening Doctor Chwastowski came to see us. He looks very well,
and as strong as a giant.

26 August.

I had a very nasty dream. I begin with it the description of the day.
I am not one to attach any meaning to dreams, and I am convinced
that a healthy brain could not produce such stuff. Sleeplessness has
troubled me now for some time, but yesterday I had scarcely closed my
eyes when I fell into a heavy sleep. I do not know at what time I had
that dream; it must have been towards morning, for when I awoke it
was broad daylight, and I could not have dreamed long. I saw a great
quantity of cockchafers and black beetles crawl from under the
mattress and along the sides of the bed. They were as big as
matchboxes. Presently I saw them crawling up the wall. Strange how
realistic dreams can be; I distinctly heard the rustling of their
feet on the paper. Raising my eyes I noticed big clusters of beetles
hanging from the c