t Berlin," and I cannot fill myself enough
with these words. It is as if I had been starving, and somebody had
given me a piece of bread. I am eating it, and feel as if I could cry
from sheer gratitude. Perhaps God's mercy toward me is beginning to
appear at last. For I feel that I am changed; the former self has
died in me. I shall not revolt against her will any more; I will bear
everything, will soothe and comfort her; I will even save her husband.

4 November.

After thinking it over, I remain two days more at Berlin. It is a
great sacrifice for me, because I can scarcely contain myself in my
impatience; but it is necessary to send a letter to prepare her for my
coming. A telegram might alarm her, as also my sudden arrival. I have
sent off a cheerful letter, winding up with a friendly message for
Aniela as if nothing ever had happened between us. I want her to
understand that I am reconciled to my fate, and that I come back the
same I was before I left her. My aunt must have counted upon my coming
on receipt of her letter.

Warsaw, 6 November.

I arrived this morning. My aunt awaited me at Warsaw. At Ploszow
things are a little better. Aniela is much calmer. There is no news
from Kromitzki.

The poor old aunt met me with a horrified exclamation,--"Leon,
whatever has happened to you?" She did not know I had been so ill,
and protracted illness alters one's appearance; and my hair has
grown quite gray on the temples. I even thought of darkening it
artificially. I do not want to look old now. My aunt, too, had changed
very much, and although it is not so long since we parted, I found a
great difference in her appearance. Her face has lost its familiar
determined expression, though her features have grown more immovable.
I noticed that her head is trembling a little, especially when she
is listening with deep attention. When with some inward trouble I
inquired after her health, she said, with her usual frankness, "After
my return from Gastein I felt very well; but now everything seems to
go wrong, and I feel that my time is coming. We Ploszowskis all end
with paralysis; and I feel a numbness in my arm every morning. But it
is not worth talking about; it will be as God ordains."

She would not say anything more. Instead of that we took counsel
together how to help Kromitzki, and we resolved not to let it come to
a criminal prosecution if we could help it. We could not save him from
ruin, as this would have inv