sion,
may I be able to say, "Most gladly, therefore, will I glory in my
infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
_March 26th._--For several days I have been led to pray that the
indwelling Spirit may indite my petitions. To-day He leads me to pray
for the annihilation of self. My whole soul cries out for this--to
forget my own sorrows, wants, sins even, and lose myself in Christ.... O
precious Saviour, let me see Thee; let me behold Thy beauty; let me hear
Thy voice; let me wash Thy feet with tears; let me gaze on Thee forever.
_March 31st._--A remarkable day. 1st. Weather like Indian summer. 2d.
After a very poor night, expecting to spend the day in bed, I was so
strengthened as to ride up to the mountain with Albert and to enjoy
seeing the mosses. In the P.M. rode again with Eddy.
_June 30th._--For years I have been constantly fearing insanity or
palsy. Now I hear of Mrs. ---- struck with paralysis and my dear friend
---- with mental alienation, while I am spared.
_June 27th._--Let a person take a delicately-strung musical instrument
and strike blows on it with a hammer till nearly every string is broken
and the whole instrument trembles and shrieks under the infliction--that
is what has been done to me. Words are entirely inadequate to paint what
I suffer.
_June 30th._--Another great mercy. A letter from N. P. W. [9] Under date
of June 4th, I wrote, "May God bless," etc., and God has blessed him.
Oh, praise, praise to Him who hears even before we ask.
_April 26, 1861._--"Hangs my helpless soul on Thee." Oh, how many
thousand times do I repeat this line during the sleepless hours of my
wretched nights!
As the year advanced, the entries became fewer and fewer; some of
them, by reason of extreme weakness and suffering, having been left
unfinished. But no weakness or suffering could wholly repress her love
of Nature. Imprisoned within the same pages that record her nights
and days of anguish are exquisite bits of fern, delicate mosses,
rose-leaves, and other flowers pressed and placed there by her own hand.
But far more touching than these mementoes of her love of Nature are the
passages in this diary of her last year on earth, that express her love
to Christ and testify to His presence and supporting grace in what she
describes as "the fathomless abyss of misery" in which she was plunged.
They remind one of the tints of unearthly light and beauty that adorn
sometimes the face of a thunderc
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