inciple, reason, method, fixed
purpose, and effect; mine I admit to have been pure, blind, unregulated
love."
4th. I have lost the power of thinking for myself. My memory, which was
originally good, has been so washed away by the floods of trash which
have been poured into it, that now it scarcely serves me at all.
A pleasant picture this of a mind, which ought to be in the full
maturity of its powers. And much reason have I to hope that with such an
instrument I shall leave an impress on other minds!... How I envy the
other sex! They have certain fixed paths marked out for them--regular
professions and trades--between which they may make a choice and know
what they have to do. A friend, to whom I had spoken of some of these
feelings, tried last night to convince me that they are the result of
physical derangement, and not at all the expression of a sane mind in a
sound body. I laughed at him, but have every now and then a suspicion
that he was right.
_Feb. 25th._--Last evening we had the company of some friends who are
interested in the subjects which I love most to talk about. We had a
good deal of conversation about books, authors, the laws of mind and
spirit, etc. My enthusiasm on these subjects revived; I felt a genial
glow resulting from the action of mind upon mind, and the delight of
finding sympathy in my most cherished tastes and pursuits. Whether it is
owing to this or not, I can not say; but I must confess to a new change
of mood, and, consequently, of opinion. I mean that my studies have not
only regained their former attractions in my eyes, but that it seems
unquestionably right and proper to pursue them (when they interfere with
no positive duty) as a means of expanding and strengthening the mind--
even when I can not point out the precise _use_ I expect to make of such
acquisition....
One of my friends tried to convince me last night that I was not
deficient in invention, because I assigned the fact that I am so, as a
reason for attempting translation rather than original writing. Several
others have labored to convince me of the same thing. Strange that they
can be so mistaken! I know that I have no fancy, from having tried to
exert it; and, as this is the lower power and implied in imagination, of
course I have none of the latter faculty. The only two things which look
like it are my enthusiasm and my relish for works of a high imaginative
order.
_Feb. 28th._--... Oh, how transporting--how i
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