and reflection. At
every change in my outward situation I find myself forming new purposes
and plans for the future.... I _will_ trust that, by the grace of God,
the ensuing winter shall be a period of more vigorous effort and more
persevering self-culture than any previous season of my life. Above all,
let me remember that intellectual culture is worthless when dissociated
from moral progress; that true spiritual growth embraces both; and the
latter as the basis and mould of the former. Let me remember, too, that
in the universe _everything_ may be had for a price, but nothing can be
had without price. The price of successful self-culture is unremitted
toil, labor, and self-denial; am I willing to pay it? I feel that I need
light and strength and life; may I find them in _Christ!_ As to studies,
I mean to study the Bible _much;_ also dogmatic theology--which of late
has an increasing interest for me--and ecclesiastical history. To the
Spirit of all Truth I surrender my mind.
_Monday._--I have fallen in with Swedenborg's writings. Wonder whether
the destiny which seems to bring to us just what we chance to be
interested in is a real ordinance of fate or only a seeming one--because
interest in a subject makes us observant. Am reading Greek with Julia.
We began the sixth book of the Iliad. _Tuesday_.--Fifty lines in Homer;
Companion proofs; Schleiermacher; the prologue and first scene of
Terence's comedy of Andria; two Nos. of N. Nickleby, and walked
round the Common with Julia twice. _Wednesday_.--Studies the same as
yesterday, except that I read less of Schleiermacher and spent an hour
or so upon Lessing. Read "Much Ado about Nothing," and disliked Beatrice
less than ever before. But I am not satisfied with Claudio; he is not
_half_ sorry and remorseful enough for the supposed death of Hero--and
then to think of his being willing to marry another right off! Oh, it
is abominable! Walked over _four miles_ in the morning, and out again
before tea.
_Tuesday, Sept. 17th_--Well. The family are off--Mr. and Mrs. Willis,
and Julia too--and the Recorder and Companion [10] are left for a
fortnight in my charge. I have been much interested in what I have read
to-day in Schleiermacher. It is his evolution of the idea of God--if I
may so say--from holy, human consciousness. It recalls some thoughts
which I had on this subject once before, and which I began to write
about. My notion was this--that an absolutely perfect idea of ma
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