red at the door the same fat woman
and the small boy, now enveloped in a long and wide coat. "Take Ivan
Ivanovitch by the arms and lead him to the door!"

"What! a nobleman?" shouted Ivan Ivanovitch with a feeling of vexation
and dignity. "Just do it if you dare! Come on! I'll annihilate you and
your stupid master. The crows won't be able to find your bones." Ivan
Ivanovitch spoke with uncommon force when his spirit was up.

The group presented a striking picture: Ivan Nikiforovitch standing
in the middle of the room; the woman with her mouth wide open and a
senseless, terrified look on her face, and Ivan Ivanovitch with uplifted
hand, as the Roman tribunes are depicted. This was a magnificent
spectacle: and yet there was but one spectator; the boy in the ample
coat, who stood quite quietly and picked his nose with his finger.

Finally Ivan Ivanovitch took his hat. "You have behaved well, Ivan
Nikiforovitch, extremely well! I shall remember it."

"Go, Ivan Ivanovitch, go! and see that you don't come in my way: if you
do, I'll beat your ugly face to a jelly, Ivan Ivanovitch!"

"Take that, Ivan Nikiforovitch!" retorted Ivan Ivanovitch, making an
insulting gesture and banged the door, which squeaked and flew open
again behind him.

Ivan Nikiforovitch appeared at it and wanted to add something more; but
Ivan Ivanovitch did not glance back and hastened from the yard.

CHAPTER III

WHAT TOOK PLACE AFTER IVAN IVANOVITCH'S QUARREL WITH IVAN NIKIFOROVITCH

And thus two respectable men, the pride and honour of Mirgorod, had
quarrelled, and about what? About a bit of nonsense--a goose. They would
not see each other, broke off all connection, though hitherto they had
been known as the most inseparable friends. Every day Ivan Ivanovitch
and Ivan Nikiforovitch had sent to inquire about each other's health,
and often conversed together from their balconies and said such charming
things as did the heart good to listen to. On Sundays, Ivan
Ivanovitch, in his lambskin pelisse, and Ivan Nikiforovitch, in his
cinnamon-coloured nankeen spencer, used to set out for church almost arm
in arm; and if Ivan Ivanovitch, who had remarkably sharp eyes, was
the first to catch sight of a puddle or any dirt in the street, which
sometimes happened in Mirgorod, he always said to Ivan Nikiforovitch,
"Look out! don't put your foot there, it's dirty." Ivan Nikiforovitch,
on his side, exhibited the same touching tokens of friendship; and
whenev