"Permit me to inform you, Ivan Ivanovitch, permit me, permit me,
that this is utterly inadvisable. What is to be done? The authorities
command, we must obey. I don't deny that sometimes chickens and geese
run about the street, and even about the square, pray observe, chickens
and geese; but only last year, I gave orders that pigs and goats were
not to be admitted to the public squares, which regulations I directed
to be read aloud at the time before all the people."

"No, Peter Feodorovitch, I see nothing here except that you are doing
your best to insult me."

"But you cannot say that, my dearest friend and benefactor, that I have
tried to insult you. Bethink yourself: I never said a word to you last
year when you built a roof a whole foot higher than is allowed by law.
On the contrary, I pretended not to have observed it. Believe me, my
dearest friend, even now, I would, so to speak--but my duty--in a word,
my duty demands that I should have an eye to cleanliness. Just judge for
yourself, when suddenly in the principal street--"

"Fine principal streets yours are! Every woman goes there and throws
down any rubbish she chooses."

"Permit me to inform you, Ivan Ivanovitch, that it is you who are
insulting me. That does sometimes happen, but, as a rule, only besides
fences, sheds, or storehouses; but that a filthy sow should intrude
herself in the main street, in the square, now is a matter--"

"What sort of a matter? Peter Feodorovitch! surely a sow is one of God's
creatures!"

"Agreed. Everybody knows that you are a learned man, that you are
acquainted with sciences and various other subjects. I never studied the
sciences: I began to learn to write in my thirteenth year. Of course you
know that I was a soldier in the ranks."

"Hm!" said Ivan Ivanovitch.

"Yes," continued the chief of police, "in 1801 I was in the Forty-second
Regiment of chasseurs, lieutenant in the fourth company. The commander
of our company was, if I may be permitted to mention it, Captain
Eremeeff." Thereupon the chief of police thrust his fingers into the
snuff-box which Ivan Ivanovitch was holding open, and stirred up the
snuff.

Ivan Ivanovitch answered, "Hm!"

"But my duty," went on the chief of police, "is to obey the commands
of the authorities. Do you know, Ivan Ivanovitch, that a person
who purloins a government document in the court-room incurs capital
punishment equally with other criminals?"

"I know it; and, if you like, I