moment of
forgetfulness, was the first to betray himself. When Ivan Nikiforovitch
was informed of it he said nothing: he merely inquired, "Was it the
brown one?"

But Agafya Fedosyevna, who was present, began again to urge on Ivan
Nikiforovitch. "What's the matter with you, Ivan Nikiforovitch? People
will laugh at you as at a fool if you let it pass. How can you remain a
nobleman after that? You will be worse than the old woman who sells the
honeycakes with hemp-seed oil you are so fond of."

And the mischief-maker persuaded him. She hunted up somewhere a
middle-aged man with dark complexion, spots all over his face, and a
dark-blue surtout patched on the elbows, a regular official scribbler.
He blacked his boots with tar, wore three pens behind his ear, and
a glass vial tied to his buttonhole with a string instead of an
ink-bottle: ate as many as nine pies at once, and put the tenth in his
pocket, and wrote so many slanders of all sorts on a single sheet of
stamped paper that no reader could get through all at one time without
interspersing coughs and sneezes. This man laboured, toiled, and wrote,
and finally concocted the following document:--

"To the District Judge of Mirgorod, from the noble, Ivan Dovgotchkun,
son of Nikifor.

"In pursuance of my plaint which was presented by me, Ivan Dovgotchkun,
son of Nikifor, against the nobleman, Ivan Pererepenko, son of Ivan,
to which the judge of the Mirgorod district court has exhibited
indifference; and the shameless, high-handed deed of the brown sow being
kept secret, and coming to my ears from outside parties.

"And the said neglect, plainly malicious, lies incontestably at the
judge's door; for the sow is a stupid animal, and therefore unfitted
for the theft of papers. From which it plainly appears that the said
frequently mentioned sow was not otherwise than instigated to the
same by the opponent, Ivan Pererepenko, son of Ivan, calling himself a
nobleman, and already convicted of theft, conspiracy against life,
and desecration of a church. But the said Mirgorod judge, with
the partisanship peculiar to him, gave his private consent to this
individual; for without such consent the said sow could by no possible
means have been admitted to carry off the document; for the judge of the
district court of Mirgorod is well provided with servants: it was
only necessary to summon a soldier, who is always on duty in the
reception-room, and who, although he has but one eye