and one somewhat
damaged arm, has powers quite adequate to driving out a sow, and to
beating it with a stick, from which is credibly evident the criminal
neglect of the said Mirgorod judge and the incontestable sharing of the
Jew-like spoils therefrom resulting from these mutual conspirators. And
the aforesaid robber and nobleman, Ivan Pererepenko, son of Ivan, having
disgraced himself, finished his turning on his lathe. Wherefore, I, the
noble Ivan Dovgotchkun, son of Nikifor, declare to the said district
judge in proper form that if the said brown sow, or the man Pererepenko,
be not summoned to the court, and judgment in accordance with justice
and my advantage pronounced upon her, then I, Ivan Dovgotchkun, son of
Nikifor, shall present a plaint, with observance of all due formalities,
against the said district judge for his illegal partisanship to the
superior courts.

"Ivan Dovgotchkun, son of Nikifor, noble of the Mirgorod District."

This petition produced its effect. The judge was a man of timid
disposition, as all good people generally are. He betook himself to the
secretary. But the secretary emitted from his lips a thick "Hm," and
exhibited on his countenance that indifferent and diabolically equivocal
expression which Satan alone assumes when he sees his victim hastening
to his feet. One resource remained to him, to reconcile the two friends.
But how to set about it, when all attempts up to that time had been so
unsuccessful? Nevertheless, it was decided to make another effort; but
Ivan Ivanovitch declared outright that he would not hear of it, and even
flew into a violent passion; whilst Ivan Nikiforovitch, in lieu of an
answer, turned his back and would not utter a word.

Then the case went on with the unusual promptness upon which courts
usually pride themselves. Documents were dated, labelled, numbered,
sewed together, registered all in one day, and the matter laid on the
shelf, where it continued to lie, for one, two, or three years. Many
brides were married; a new street was laid out in Mirgorod; one of the
judge's double teeth fell out and two of his eye-teeth; more children
than ever ran about Ivan Ivanovitch's yard; Ivan Nikiforovitch, as a
reproof to Ivan Ivanovitch, constructed a new goose-shed, although a
little farther back than the first, and built himself completely off
from his neighbour, so that these worthy people hardly ever beheld each
other's faces; but still the case lay in the cabinet