clear of the ground! Be sure the rope is under
his arms, too! Hey, you extra people--a little ginger there! This is
a lynching not a spelling bee! Dance around some--yell! That's it.
Now, all ready?" He blows the whistle. "Shoot!" he yells, "and gimme
all you got!"

Well, the Kid did what he could--he blowed the little trick horn on the
side of the car about a second before he shot into the mob. Them
bloodthirsty outlaws just melted away before him, and them that was
slow-witted was picked up and tossed to one side before they knowed
what hit 'em. They's a big stone wall at the other side of the tree
and that's where the Kid was headed for. Just as he sails under De
Vronde, who's hangin' from the rope over his head, the Kid sees the
wall, grabs De Vronde by the legs and hangs there, lettin' that crazy,
six cylinder A. G. F. proceed without him. De Vronde and the Kid
crashes to the ground and the car dashed its brains out against the
wall.

While great excitement is bein' had by all, Duke jumps from the
platform to tell the camera men to cease firin' and a handful of actors
runs over to jimmy the Kid and De Vronde apart. I thought this Duke
guy was gonna explode, on the level it was two minutes before he could
speak.

"What d'ye mean, you ivory-headed simp?" he screams at the Kid,
finally. "What d'ye mean by that? You've ruined a hundred feet of
film, you--"

I hear somebody puffin' along beside me as I come runnin' up and I see
it's Potts. He's red in the face and mumblin' somethin' to himself as
he waddles along. I felt real sorry for the Kid--car and job, both
gone! Potts rushes up and grabs Duke by the shoulder.

"There!" he yells, pointin' to the Kid. "There stands a man that knows
more about the picture game than the whole infernal lot of you!
_That's the kind of a finish I've been trying to get for this picture
all morning_!"

CHAPTER III

PLEASURE ISLAND

Speakin' of boobs, as people will, did you ever figure what would
happen if the production of 'em would suddenly cease? Heh? Where
would this or any other country be, if all the voters was wise guys and
the suckers was all dead?

In the first place, there wouldn't have been no ex-Land of the Rave and
Home of the Spree, if Queen Isabella hadn't been boob enough to fall
for Columbus's stuff, about would she stake him and his gang of rough
and readys to a couple of ferryboats and they'd go out and bring back
Chicago. Even ol