glass. "By Jove! I told Tony to converse with no one while
we were here. What does this--this person mean by buffeting him about?
I thought this company was composed of ladies and gentlemen, not
stevedores and longshoremen!"

"Don't get gay, Fatty!" yells the Kid, strugglin' with Genaro. "I put
bigger actors than _you_ to sleep. I gotta left hand that's got
morphine lookin' like a alarm clock!"

"Waita, waita!" shrieks Genaro. "We musta all be the friend. Joosta
waita when you and Meester Van Ness get better acquainta you'll be
joosta like--"

"Germany and England!" butts in the Kid, tearin' himself away. "Come
on!" he tells me. "Let's get away from here," he glares at Van Ness
and Tony, "before certain parties makes any more cracks! If they
do--I'll make 'em look like models for The Dyin' Gladiator!"

"Don'ta minda heem!" whispers Genaro to Van Ness, as we get over to the
door. "He'sa fina fel'. He'sa no hurta the _bambino_--what you call
ba-bee. Gotta taka bag of the salts with everything he'sa say. Gotta
lots temperament!"

"A ruffian, _I_ should say!" remarks Van Ness loudly.

"Bigga bunka!" hisses Tony.

"What?" roars the Kid, swingin' around on them.

"Good day, sir!" pipes Van Ness, steppin' back of the desk.

"No spika da Engleesh!" says Tony, steppin' in back of his boss.

I yanked the Kid outside before violence was had by all.

Jason Van Ness stayed at Film City for about two months. Durin' that
time he made as many friends as the ex-Kaiser would pick up in Paris.
They was two reasons for this, the first bein' that he was the most
dignified and solemn guy I ever seen in my life. Stories that would
put a victim of lockjaw in hysterics couldn't coax a snicker from that
undertaker's face of his which would have made a supreme court justice
look like a clown. In fact, if he'd been a judge and I ever come up
before him, I would have took one flash at that face and asked him to
gimme life and let it go at that! His favorite smokin'-room story was
what causes spots on the sun or somethin' equally excitin', and pretty
soon they was a standin' offer of a hundred bucks to the first guy that
could make Van Ness laugh!

Some of the greatest comedians the movies ever seen laid awake nights
and become famous on stunts they pulled off for the sole benefit of Van
Ness--and all he did was to inquire if they was crazy or soused!

The second reason that Van Ness was as unpopular as snow durin' t