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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Kid Scanlan, by H. C. Witwer This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net Title: Kid Scanlan Author: H. C. Witwer Release Date: August 22, 2009 [EBook #29764] Language: English Character set encoding: ASCII *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK KID SCANLAN *** Produced by Al Haines KID SCANLAN BY H. C. WITWER AUTHOR OF THE LEATHER PUSHERS, FIGHTING BLOOD, ETC. GROSSET & DUNLAP PUBLISHERS NEW YORK Copyright, 1920, BY SMALL, MAYNARD & COMPANY (INCORPORATED) DEDICATED TO ALLAN HENRY WITWER MY SIX-YEAR-OLD DESCENDANT WHO WEEPS BITTERLY WHEN I READ MY YARNS ALOUD TO HIS PATIENT MOTHER H. C. W. CONTENTS CHAPTER I. LAY OFF MACDUFF II. EAST LYNCH III. PLEASURE ISLAND IV. LEND ME YOUR EARS V. "EXIT, LAUGHING" VI. THE UNHAPPY MEDIUM VII. LIFE IS REEL! VIII. HOSPITAL STUFF KID SCANLAN CHAPTER I LAY OFF, MACDUFF! Brains is great things to have, and many's the time I've wished I had a set of 'em in _my_ head instead of just plain bone! Still they's a lot of guys which has gone through life like a yegg goes through a safe, and taken everything out of it that wasn't nailed, with nothin' in their head but hair! A college professor gets five thousand a year, a good lightweight will grab that much a fight. A school teacher drags down fifteen a week, and the guy that looks after the boilers in the school buildin' gets thirty! Sweet cookie! So don't get discouraged if the pride of the family gets throwed out of school because he thinks twice two is eighteen and geography is played with nets. The chances is very bright that young Stupid will be holdin' the steerin' wheel of his own Easy Eight when the other guys, which won all the trick medals for ground and lofty learnin', will be wonderin' why a good bookkeeper never gets more than twenty-five a week. And then, if he feels he's _got_ to have brains around him, now that he's grabbed the other half of the team--money--he can go downtown and buy all the brains he wants for eighteen dollars a week! So if you're as shy on brains as a bald-headed man is of dandr
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