"Giggle!" This here Herbert person was a laughin' fool! The first
time I talked with him I thought I was cheatin' myself by only bein'
Scanlan's manager. I figured I ought to be in vaudeville knockin' 'em
dead for five hundred a week, because G. Herbert roared at everything I
said. He screamed with mirth at all the old ones and had hysterics
over three or four witty remarks I remembered from a show I seen the
night of the Johnstown flood. I thought, of course, it was the way I
put the stuff over, and I was just gonna give the Kid my fare-you-well,
when I seen G. Herbert standin' by a practical undertakers shop that
was fixed up for a fillum. The little simp was standin' over a coffin
laughin' his head off!

That cured me, but him and the Kid become great little pals. I found
out later it was on account of G. Herbert snickerin' at the Kid's
comedy. Scanlan hadn't discovered it was a habit with this guy, and he
claimed here was a feller that knowed humor when he seen it.

One afternoon I see Scanlan and Miss Vincent whisperin' together like
yeggmen outside a postoffice. They called me over, and the Kid tells
me that the society bunch was gonna leave us flat on the midnight
train, and before they blowed, Potts was gonna give 'em a dinner and
dance. All the movie crowd was to mix with Frisco's four hundred, so's
that both could enjoy the experience and say they took a chance once in
their lives.

But the thing that was botherin' Miss Vincent--(Some dame, that! She
was the world's champion woman, believe me!) The thing that worried
her was G. Herbert and Helen Dear, alias Mrs. Roberts-Miller. Likin'
'em both, Miss Vincent wanted to hurl 'em together for good and all
before the train pulled out.

It seems the only objection the dame had to G. Herbert was the fact
that he couldn't keep from laughin'. She had him figured as a
eighteen-carat simp and frequently told him so, addin' that she could
never marry a man who was shy on dignity. Then she gets a flash at our
old pal Jason Van Ness or Eddie Fink, as he claimed, and she fell so
hard for him she liked to broke her neck! Here was the only original
Sedate Sam! Here was the guy she was willin' and anxious to lead to
the altar and then to the old safe deposit vault! He was so handsome!
So dignified! Such a splendid actor! That's the stuff she was always
handin' poor little G. Herbert and askin' him why _he_ wasn't like
that? G. Herbert would shake his