neering barque
With the good guns of England's ark;
We'll chase it flying like a rat
For some fort-guarded Ararat,
And leave it flotsam for Jemima's broom.

EVOE.

* * * * *

Peace: Old and New Style.

Now that the Allies have all agreed not to make separate peaces, we can
look forward to the War stopping all at once, and not just a bit at a
time, though of course the calendar of the Russians will allow them the
option of keeping at it for twelve days after the others have finished.

* * * * *

"GLORIOUS COMPEAGNE.--For ever memorable in the annals of the
country will be the name of Compeigne."--_News of the World._

Nor shall Compiegne, we hope, be utterly forgotten.

* * * * *

Illustration: MADE IN GERMANY.

KAISER. "I'M NOT QUITE SATISFIED WITH THE SWORD. PERHAPS, AFTER ALL, THE
PEN IS MIGHTIER!"

* * * * *

Illustration: _Belated Reveller._ "YOU A SPESHUL CONSHTABLE?"

_Special Constable._ "YES." (_Long pause._)

_B. R._ "WHAT ARMS 'AVE YER?"

_S. C._ "A TRUNCHEON AND A WHISTLE, AND (_suddenly inventive, in view of
reveller's superior physique_) A SIX-SHOOTER."

_B. R._ "AH, WELL, I'M NOT TAKIN' ANY FORTRESHES TO-NIGHT."

* * * * *

DISPOSITIONS.

My wife was certainly ruffled, and, more than that, she was mystified.
She could not understand it at all.

"And this is the second time," she said.

"Have you questioned the servants?" I asked.

"It is not likely that my servants would amuse themselves by throwing
lumps of coal on the drawing-room carpet," she replied, "not being
lunatics. But as a matter of fact I have questioned them."

"It is the sort of thing a playful kitten might do," I suggested. "Or a
puppy perhaps."

"No, they couldn't have lifted the tongs, and the tongs were in it too,
and three walking-sticks. It must have been children, I suppose; but I
don't think there have been any children in the house."

I found her the same afternoon studying some scratched hieroglyphics on
the gravel in front of the house. It was quite an elaborate design with
squares and circles and curving lines, and with a wobbly streak running
through it. And that evening she announced once and for all that the
house was bewitched and she gave it up. She had found a loofah, two
sponges and some cakes of soap elabora