d to religious exercises. This passed and by my fourteenth
year I had become heretical, but was still keenly sensitive to
religious influences.

"When barely 16 I slept one night with a woman of low morals. She
acted toward me in a sensual manner and aroused my sexual
feelings. I felt at the time that this was a sin, but I was
carried away by passion. Afterward I hated this woman and
despised myself.

"I then went away to a co-educational boarding school. Here for
the first time I became happy. A girl of my own age, of fine
character and noticeable refinement, fell in love with me and
caused me to reciprocate. On retrospection I believe this to have
been a genuine and beautiful love on both sides. After a few
months, however, our relation, at my initiative and against my
friend's will, became a physical one. We expressed our affection
by mutual caresses, close embraces and lying on each other's
bodies. I sometimes touched her sexual organs sensually. All this
contact gave me exquisite thrills. After three years we had a
misunderstanding and separated. I was greatly grieved and
troubled for many years, and came to regret greatly the physical
relationship that had existed between us. My friend at length
fell in love and married. I had several other slighter
infatuations for women, was courted by several men to whom I
remained cold and bored except in one instance, where I was
somewhat touched, and finally found a lasting friendship with a
woman who had fallen deeply in love with me in her school days
and had never been able to care for any one else. She is a woman
of considerable literary talent and of good general ability and
high ideals. She is usually much liked by men. Her love for me is
the most real thing in the world for me, and seems the most
permanent. At first my feeling for her was almost purely
physical, although there were no sexual relations. I hated this
feeling and have succeeded in overcoming it pretty largely. At
times after long separations we have embraced with great passion,
at least on my part. This has always had a bad physical effect on
me. At present, however, it very rarely occurs. We both consider
sexual feelings degrading and deleterious to real love. Whether
at any time we have had complete physical satisfaction or
gratification, I hardly kn