about 11 years of age. A
young lady came to visit a next-door neighbor, and made so
profound an impression on the child that she was ridiculed by her
playmates for preferring to sit in a dark corner on the
lawn--where she might watch this young lady--rather than to play
games. Being a sensitive child, after this experience she was
careful not to reveal her feelings to anyone. She felt
instinctively that in this she was different from others. Her
sense of beauty developed early, but there was always an
indefinable feeling of melancholy associated with it. The
twilight, a dark night when the stars shone brightly; these had a
very depressing effect upon her, but possessed a strong
attraction nevertheless, and pictures appealed to her. At the age
of 12 she fell in love with a schoolmate, two years older than
herself, who was absorbed in the boys and never suspected this
affection; she wept bitterly because they could not be confirmed
at the same time, but feared to appear undignified and
sentimental by revealing her feelings. The face of this friend
reminded her of one of Dolce's Madonnas which she loved. Later
on, at the age of 16, she loved another friend very dearly and
devoted herself to her care. There was a tinge of masculinity
among the women of this friend's family, but it is not clear if
she can be termed inverted. This was the happiest period of Miss
M.'s life. Upon the death of this friend, who had long been in
ill health, eight years afterward, she resolved never to let her
heart go out to anyone again.

Specific physical gratification plays no part in these
relationships. The physical sexual feelings began to assert
themselves at puberty, but not in association with her ideal
emotions. "In that connection," she writes, "I would have
considered such things a sacrilege. I fought them and in a
measure successfully. The practice of self-indulgence which might
have become a daily habit was only occasional. Her image evoked
at such times drove away such feelings, for which I felt a
repugnance, much preferring the romantic ideal feelings. In this
way, quite unconscious of the fact that I was at all different
from, any other person, I contrived to train myself to suppress
or at least to dominate my physical sensations when they arose.
That is the reason why friendship