nug Bachelor Flat, direct from the phenomenally successful farce,
_Peers and Pyjamas_, at the Plenipotentiaries Theatre. The fine
central living-room contains sixteen doors, opening into bedrooms,
kitchen, coal-cellar, etc. May be as conveniently entered by the
window as by the doors. All the latter work upon the well-known
dramatic hinge, by which as soon as one shuts another opens. Unlimited
facilities for hide-and-seek. Exceptional opportunity for active
tenant.

* * * * *

From _The Mistress of Court Regina_, by Mr. CHARLES GARVICE:--

"He kissed her, taking his cigarette out of his mouth to do so."

This courteous consideration is invariably shown in the best circles.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Geordie_. "WELL, AH'M BLOWED! THEY'M NAMED YON PLAACE
AFTER T'OWD DOOG-OUT ON T' SOMME!"]

* * * * *

THE SUBALTERNS' PARADISE.

I met Bilsden and congratulated him on being in "civvies."

"What are you going to do now?" I asked. "Back to the old firm?"

"No," said Bilsden gravely; "when a man has acquired the power of
leading men he's thrown away in an accountant's office, especially as
the junior member of the staff. I see no prospect in England. I have
offered to take charge of large departments of English firms, and be
responsible for entire supervision, but they fail to recognise what
the capacity for leadership gained in the army will do. I'm off to
Ceylon--tea-planting. Just to control big gangs of coolies and see
that they work. It will be child's play for me. Lovely climate;
elephants. An absolutely ideal job."

It seemed to me on that foggy frosty day, that to lie in a hammock in
the shade, with the temperature about ninety, watching coolies work,
would be the perfect form of labour.

I congratulated Bilsden on having found his _metier_.

Half-an-hour later I met Parkinson, another second-loot who had just
shed his pip.

"Well, what are you going to do now?" I asked.

"I'm a bit dubious," he said.

"Try tea-planting in Ceylon," I suggested. "Elephants, spicy breezes,
swing in a hammock all day watching coolies. My dear boy, were I
twenty years younger I should be inquiring about a berth on the next
steamer."

"Ah," said Parkinson, "of course Ceylon's all right, and I've a lot
of pals going out there; but what about rubber-planting in the Malay
Peninsula? They've got tigers there. That's rather a