was done.
'Erb, with his accustomed push,
Was advancing when the bush
Dragged the last remaining stitches
From the bag he called his breeches,
Leaving nothing but the dregs
Of the red stripe down his legs.
'Erbert paused; though not a prude,
He had never liked the nude.

Seated in a distant clearing.
He remarked the natives cheering,
And, directed by the din,
Saw the plight his mates were in.
When he thought the time was ripe,
Clad in little but his stripe
'Erbert charged.... The tribes in wonder
Promptly bolted with the plunder.

'Erbert with averted head
Quickly gathered every shred
Of his late-lamented kit,
Saying, as he handed it
To the Major, "I infer
You have lost your breeches, Sir."

With his glasses in his hands
On his deck the Captain stands,
Watching with surprise and fear
His detachment reappear--
First the Major, garbed in dirt
And the tail of 'Erbert's shirt;
Then the Sergeant, better dressed
In the sleeves of 'Erbert's vest;
Then the rest in fragments torn
From the jumper he had worn.
Last comes 'Erbert, proud as NELSON,
With a smile and nothing else on.

Is it Fortune's final stroke,
Or the Skipper's little joke?
As the ladder they ascend
Comes the bugle "Make and Mend."

* * * * *

"A flotilla of Portuguese warships is actively maintaining the
blockade between the mouth of the Volga and that of the Minho."

_Daily Paper_.

The report that the Bolshevists have borrowed a "Big Bertha" and
are meditating a bombardment of Lisbon by way of reprisal is as yet
unconfirmed.

* * * * *

"Mr. W.A. Appleton, secretary of the Feedration of Trade Unions,
declares that since the Armistice the federation 'has lost no
opportunity of endeavouring to smash the controls that meant
continued high prices (of food)."--_Evening Paper_.

More power to the "Feedration" in its self-sacrificing campaign.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE GUEST WHO BROUGHT A BANJO.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: "THERE'S A BIT OF A FINANCIAL CRISIS ON AT THE PRESENT
MOMENT. I BLEW INTO COX'S ON THE WAY HERE, ON THE OFF CHANCE,
BUT--NOTHING DOING!"

"I S'POSE YOUR OVERDRAFT BLEW YOU OUT AGAIN--WHAT?"]

* * * * *

THE RIGHTS OF LABOUR.

_(Extract from "The T