ted for breach of promise."

"What do you know about breach of promise?" said Uncle Ike, coloring up
and looking foolish. "Who has been telling you about my being arrested
once for breach of promise? If your mother has told you about that old
trouble I had, I'll leave this house and go board at a tavern."

"I never heard anything about it, Uncle Ike, so help me. I never heard
that you was ever in love."

"I never was in love," said the old man, as he loaded up the pipe again,
"except with my pipe. That affair was a clear case of a dog getting
stuck on a man, and the owner of the dog thinking she was being loved.
You see I went to a summer resort years ago, and got acquainted with a
widow. She was a sweet creature, but I never said a word to her about
marriage. She had a pug dog, and I petted the dog, and called it to me,
and, do you know, that dog got so he would follow me, and set on my lap,
and come to my room, and whine, until I got scared. I talked with the
widow some, and once I took her and the dog out boat riding, but I never
gave her any cause to think that I was in love with her. But you ought
to have seen that dog. He just doted on me. I encouraged it till all the
guests at the hotel began to notice that I was very dear to the dog, and
the widow looked on smilingly and encouraged the intimacy. Then I tried
to drive the dog away from me, but he would curl up at my feet and look
up at me in such a loving manner that I weakened. Then the widow began
to hint at her desire to have someone that the dog could look up to and
love, and it was getting too warm, and I left the summer resort, and was
sued for breach of promise. Of course I didn't know what the woman or
the dog would swear to, so I settled for a thousand dollars. The next
year I called at the summer resort, and found the dog stuck on another
man, and I know just as well as can be that the widow paid her expenses
each summer by that dog getting in love with men, and I have never
looked at a woman twice since."

"Served them right," said the boy, who had an idea that Uncle Ike was
right about everything. "I don't take much stock in girls myself. I am
mighty glad I haven't got any sister. The boys that have got sisters are
in hot water all the time, and have to go home with them from parties,
and carry their rubbers to school when it rains, and fight for them
if the other boys call them tomboys. Sisters are no good," and the
red-headed boy looked smart, as