ke me of using tobacco. Well, I
remained there ten days, and, while they were pretending to cure me,
they were curing my friend sure enough, putting the gold cure into
his system with injections and drinks, while I didn't get anything but
ginger ale; and when we were discharged cured, I was the happiest man
in the world, except my friend, who was happier. He was not only cured
himself, and an honor to his family, but he thought he had saved me from
a drunkard's grave. That's the story, boys, and now you get up and shake
hands, and don't fight any more over your Uncle Ike," and the old man
patted them both on the head, and they shook hands and laughed at each
other's black eyes. As the red-headed boy showed his late antagonist to
the door, he turned to his uncle and said:

"Uncle Ike, if you have ever held up a railroad train, or robbed a bank,
or stolen horses, or done anything that would cause you to be arrested,
I beg of you to tell me of it now, so if anybody abuses you in my
presence I won't get into a fight every time," and the boy put his arm
around his Uncle Ike and hugged him, and added, "You were a thoroughbred
when you bilked that friend of yours to take the cure."

"Oh, I don't know," said Uncle Ike, "that reminds me of the battle of
Chickamauga. When Bragg's forces were----"

"Fire! Fire!" yelled the red-headed boy, and he rushed out of doors and
left the old man talking to his pipe.

"Has that battle of Chickamauga been fought out to a finish yet?" said
the red-headed boy, as he stuck his head in the door after the imaginary
fire alarm that he had created to escape Uncle Ike's war history, "for
if it is ended I want to come in, but I can't stand gore, and your war
stories are so full of blood that you must have had to swim in it."

"Oh, you don't know a hero when you see one," said the old man, as he
straightened up and saluted the boy in a military manner, only that he
used his left hand instead of his right hand.

"Well, I'll tell you," said the boy as he got inside the room and
stood with his hand on the door knob, ready to escape if Uncle Ike
got excited. "You old veterans make me sick. I have heard nothing for
fifteen years except war talk, old war talk, back number war talk, about
how you old fellows put down the rebellion, and suffered, and fought,
and all that rot. Why, I heard a bugler who enlisted for the Spanish
war, and who only got as far as Jacksonville, say that you fellows that
put dow