"I speak for carrying the water to drown out the gopher!" yelled the
red-headed boy.

"Me, too!" shouted the other boys in chorus, as they disappeared from
sight, and Uncle Ike listened until they were out of hearing, and then
he limped down to the gate and looked up the road toward the country,
but all he could see was a cloud of dust with a dog in it, and he walked
back to the house sadly, and as he lifted the lame leg upon the porch,
and took his hat, he said:

"Blamed if I don't hitch up the mare and drive out there where those
boys have gone. I'll bet I know woodchuck holes and gopher holes them
kids never would find if they had a whole passel of dogs," and he went
out to the barn and pretty soon Aunt Almira heard him yell, "Whoa, gosh
darn ye, take in that bit!" and she put on her sunbonnet and went out to
the barn to see if he had actually gone crazy.

CHAPTER XIII.

"What you scratching yourself on the chest for?" said Uncle Ike, as the
red-headed boy stood with one hand inside his vest, digging as though
his life depended on his doing a good job. "Is there anything the matter
with you that soap and water will not cure?" and the old man punched the
boy in the ribs with a great big, hard thumb, as big as a banana.

"Uncle Ike, how long will a porous plaster stay on, and isn't there
any way to stop its itching? I have had one on for seventeen days and
nights, and it seems to be getting worse all the time," said the boy, as
he dug away at his chest.

"Good heavens, take it off quick!" said Uncle Ike, as he laid his
lighted pipe down on the table, on a nice, clean cloth, and the
ashes and fire spilled out, and burned a hole in it. "You will die of
mortification. Those plasters are only intended to be used as posters
for a day or two. What in the name of common sense have you worn it
seventeen days for? Let's rip it off."

"No, I have got to wear it eighteen days more," said the boy, with a
look of resignation. "Now, don't laugh, Uncle Ike, will you? You see my
girl has gone to the seashore to be gone five weeks, and she gave me a
tintype and told me to wear it next my heart till she got back, and I
thought I could get it nearer my heart by putting it right against the
skin, and putting a porous plaster over it, and by gum, I can feel her
on my heart every minute. Now don't laugh, Uncle."

[Illustration: Here, this plaster has got to be removed 111]

"Well, I guess not," said Uncle Ike, as he put ou