water and tried to bring him
back to life, he shouted: "That is murder. I saw that fellow with the
black socks strike him with a hatchet. Police!" but someone behind him
yelled to him to sit down, and the red-headed boy pulled his coat tail,
he sat down, and the game went on, but Uncle Ike was mad, because the
dead boy was playing as lively as anybody.

Then a man got the ball and started on a run down the field, with the
whole crowd after him, and finally they got him down and Uncle Ike stood
up again and said: "Stop the game. I saw a fellow trip him up, and pound
him with a billy, and stab him. Say, boys, he's dead, sure. Where's the
police? Ain't there no ambulance here? Kill the umpire!" he shouted,
remembering that he was an old baseball fan.

[Illustration: Where's the police 195]

"Oh, don't worry, Uncle Ike, they are all right," said the boy, waving
a long piece of red ribbon, as the two bands tried to play a "Hot Time"
and a waltz at the same time. "Now watch the kangaroo kick off," and as
he kicked the ball the whole length of the field the old man simply sat
still and said:

"Gee whiz, but that was a corker. U-rah-u-rah!" and the only way to stop
him was to feed him peanuts.

From an enemy of football the old man was rapidly becoming its friend.
When the men came together at first, and went down in a heap, legs
flying in all directions, and noises like heavy blows coming to him, he
would swear he saw a man strike another with a mallet, but later in the
game he said it served the man right, and he ought to have been hit with
an ax, and before the game was over he was so interested that he got
down off the bleachers, leaned over the railing and yelled at the''
combatants to eat 'em up, and when the game was over he rushed into the
field, hugging the players, and saying that it was the greatest thing
that ever was, and offering to act as one of the bearers to the funeral,
if anybody had been killed, and when the boys got him out of the grounds
he took up the whole sidewalk, waving his ribbons, tied on his cane,
shouting the university yell till he frothed at the mouth, and on the
way home he took the boys into a store and bought them a new football,
and insisted that they come into the front yard and play a game every
morning, and offered to have the shrubbery cut down to give them room.
As they got home, and the other boys had gone away, the red-headed boy
said:

"Uncle Ike, you have disgraced the whole