in an armchair, with his feet on the
center-table, his head down on his bosom, his pipe gone out, yet hanging
sideways out of the corner of his mouth, and the ashes spilled all over
his shirt bosom. "Seventeen carloads of ambulances that started
all right for Tampa, never showed up, and the government is writing
everywhere to have them looked up. Wouldn't that skin you?" and the boy
stood up beside Uncle Ike, took his pipe out of his mouth, filled it
again, brushed the ashes off his shirt, and handed him a lighted wax
match that he had found somewhere. Uncle Ike put the match to his
pipe, took a few whiffs, stuck up his nose, threw the match into the
fireplace, and said:

"Where did you get that tallow match? Gosh, I had just as soon light my
pipe with kerosene oil. Always give me a plain, old-fashioned brimstone
match, if you love me, and keep out of my sight these cigarette
matches, that smell like a candle that has been blown out when it needed
snuffing." And the old man began to wake up, as the tobacco smoke went
searching through his hair and up to the ceiling. "And so the government
lost fifty ambulances in transit, eh? Well, they will be searching the
returned soldiers next, to see if the boys got away with them, and never
think of looking up the contractors, who probably never shipped them at
all. It must be that the boys got tired of embalmed beef, and ate
the ambulances. When a man is hungry you take a slice of nice, fresh
ambulance, and broil it over the coals, with plenty of seasoning, and
a soldier could sustain life on it. The government must be crippled
for ambulances, and I think we better get up a subscription to buy some
more. An ambulance famine is a terrible thing, and I have my opinion
of a soldier who will steal an ambulance. When I was in the army, I
remember that at the battle of Stone River we----"

"Oh, Uncle Ike, please don't tell me any of your terrible army
experiences," said the boy, as he remembered that he had heard his uncle
tell of being in at least a hundred battles, when the history of the
family showed that the old man was only south during the war for about
six months, and he brought home a blacksnake whip as a souvenir, and
it was believed that he had worked in the quartermaster's department,
driving mules. "Let us talk about something enjoyable this beautiful
day. How would you like to be out on a lake, or river, today, in a boat,
drifting around, and forgetting everything, and