Promise. I
have laid open to you those magical Arts by which I have kept myself
young, and now let _Polygamus_ tell us fairly, how he brought old Age
upon him to that Degree.

_Po._ Indeed, I will hide nothing from such trusty Companions.

_Eu._ You will tell it to those that will not make a Discourse of it.

_Po._ You very well know I indulg'd my Appetite when I was at _Paris_.

_Eu._ We remember it very well. But we thought that you had left your
rakish Manners and your youthful Way of Living at _Paris_.

_Po._ Of the many Mistresses I had there I took one Home, who was big
with Child.

_Eu._ What, into your Father's House?

_Po._ Directly thither; but I pretended she was a Friend's Wife, who was
to come to her in a little Time.

_Gl._ Did your Father believe it?

_Po._ He smelt the Matter out in three or four Days time, and then there
was a cruel Scolding. However, in this Interim I did not leave off
Feasting, Gaming, and other extravagant Diversions. And in short, my
Father continuing to rate me, saying he would have no such cackling
Gossips under his Roof, and ever and anon threatning to discard me, I
march'd off, remov'd to another Place with my Pullet, and she brought me
some young Chickens.

_Pa._ Where had you Money all the While?

_Po._ My Mother gave me some by Stealth, and I ran over Head and Ears in
Debt.

_Eu._ Had any Body so little Wit as to lend you?

_Po._ There are some Persons who will trust no Body more readily than
they will a Spendthrift.

_Pa._ And what next?

_Po._ At last my Father was going about to disinherit me in good
earnest. Some Friends interpos'd, and made up the Breach upon this
Condition; that I should renounce the _French_ Woman, and marry one of
our own Country.

_Eu._ Was she your Wife?

_Po._ There had past some Words between us in the future Tense, but
there had been carnal Copulation in the present Tense.

_Eu._ How could you leave her then?

_Po._ It came to be known afterwards, that my _French_ Woman had a
_French_ Husband that she had elop'd from some Time before.

_Eu._ But it seems you have a Wife now.

_Po._ None besides this which is my Eighth.

_Eu._ The Eighth! Why then you were named _Polygamus_ by Way of
Prophecy. Perhaps they all died without Children.

_Po._ Nay, there was not one of them but left me a Litter which I have
at Home.

_Eu._ I had rather have so many Hens at Home, which would lay me Eggs.
An't you weary of wifeing?

_