o be. He seemed to have forgotten everything, and I never
presumed on having poked Laura. We went to Paris, leaving Laura in
London with her sister, who came up to stay with her,--a nice girl.

Though short of money now, Fred and I at Paris took no heed, but rattled
away as if our purses were inexhaustable. His furlough was nearly up. We
had no end of women. "Old ------ (naming a relative) will leave you all
his money," said he, "he's fond of you, and has no one else to leave it
to." I and all my family thought that; my mother had repeatedly warned
me that he was discontented with my goings on; but I counted on his
love for me, love since I was a baby; so I played at Paris a jolly game,
regardless of money.

When I came back from Paris, I tried to retrench, but found it all but
impossible. I got rid of Mabel, spent five shillings for my dinner,
where I used to spend twenty, went to live with my mother, put down
my horses and carriage, and discharged my man and grooms. But as I
diminished my amusements and extravagances generally, so I seemed more
and more to need women. My cock stood all day, and half the night.
Women I had by dozens. I tried to reduce their fees, and did to a
little extent, but for some years I had been accustomed to a liberal
expenditure in that article and though to a country girl I could give
five shillings, to a Londoner I could only give gold, and never refused
more if they pleased me, and were not satisfied.

Fred then went abroad to his regiment. He made arrangements for Laura to
have a small income, not a tenth of what she had had, but enough to keep
her in a quiet way. I at first was to pay it to her. She was to have it
as long as she remained steady, and he hoped she would go home, hoped
she would keep steady till his return,--his return which was not
probable in less than seven years at the least.

One night when together, we laughed at the absurdity of expecting it.
"Walter, is it probable that a fine woman like that will be content
with frigging herself?" "No." "She will be fucked,--I would if I were
she,--it's a shame to wish her to go without fucking. If I were married
to her, she would go with me, but a man can't take a mistress to India,
he could not live with her, and all the regiment would be smelling at
her tail,--she will be fucked, and I can't help it." Tears stood in his
eyes. "You give her a grind old boy, if she must have it, I'd rather you
did it than any one, and it will k