he
sharply,--but too late, my fingers were on her clitoris, I had begun
that gentle twiddling which always ends in fucking. "Oh!--no,--oh!--
pray." Voluptuousness had overcome her, her mouth was glued to mine, her
eyes fixed on mine; gently they closed, then opened, always looking
into mine. Her breathing was short, she was past thought, she was mine.
Gently pressing her back on the sofa, she raised her limbs, I lifted her
clothes, and tearing open my trowsers threw myself on her. My fingers
for an instant touched her cunt, a rapid probe, and then my prick! My
God! it was not standing, not a bit of swell or stiffness was in it, it
was as a sucked gooseberry, a mere bit of dwindling, flexible, skinny
gristle, a piece of loose, flabby flesh, and nothing more.

I had been occasionally, but rarely suddenly unequal to love's duty
as already told, had gone home with gay women, my prick standing as I
entered their houses, then suddenly it had shrunk, something about them
having upset me. Occasionally it was a sudden fear of the ladies' fever,
or something looked less inviting when their petticoats were off, than
I had imagined when drapery hid their charms, or else the fear that my
prick would be thought small. At other times I could not account for it
at all. I told my doctor of it. He said that it was nervousness, but the
knowledge that I had once been so affected, affected me often afterwards
when I went indoors with girls. "Shall I be able to fuck?" I used to
think, I who had already fucked two hundred women. But so it was, a fear
of inability brought on inability. The power often returned to me a few
minutes afterwards, yet sometimes not for hours.

There was nothing to account for it now, I had more or less abstained
for weeks, there lay one of the choicest female forms ever presented
to man's eyes, a dark-brown crispy-haired cunt with a tiny bit of pink
clitoris showing between a large pair of thighs like ivory, and a sweet
face above turned on one side with eyes closed, and blushing a yielding
up to me. And I liked the woman, felt mad for her, yet as my prick
rubbed against her pleasure-pit, it became useless. I got up, looked at
her as she lay motionless with thighs extended, stood almost frantic,
frigged my prick, probed her, and again threw myself on her as I
stiffened; but no sooner had my prick touched her beautiful cunt, than
as if bewitched, it shrunk from entering it, I could not even thumb it
up.

I broke i