e goods." But the countryman called, in _propria
persona_, refreshed his memory, and added, that, if the bill was not
footed on sight, he should prosecute him for _stealing!_ This made the
old miser shake in his boots. He blustered for awhile; then reasoned the
case; then plead poverty. But the purveyor in vegetables was not the man
to be cabbaged in that way, and the old miser called him into his
sitting-room, and ordered his son, a wild young scamp, to go up stairs
and see if he could find five dollars in any of the drawers or boxes up
there. The young man finally called out--

"Dad, which bag shall I take it out of, _the gold or silver_?"

"Odd zounds!" bawled the old man--"the boy wants to let on I've got bags
of gold and silver!"

And so he had, many thousands of dollars in good gold and silver; he
hobbled up stairs, got nine half dollars, and tried to get off fifty
cents less than the countryman's bill; but the countryman was stubborn
as a mule, and would not abate a farthing--so the old miser had to
hobble up stairs and fetch down his fifty cents more, and the whole
operation was like squeezing bear's grease from a pig's tail, or jerking
out eye-teeth.

The miser never waylaid the market-men again; and not long after this,
he got a spurious dollar put upon him in one of his "exchanging"
operations, and that wound up his penny shaving.

Time passed--Death called upon the wretched man of ingots and money
bags,--but while power remained to forbid it, the old miser refused to
have a physician. When, to all appearance, his senses were gone, his
friends drew the miser's pantaloons from under his pillow, where he had
always insisted on their remaining during his sleeping hours, and his
last illness--but as one of the attendants slowly removed the garment,
the poor old man, with a convulsive effort--a galvanic-like grab--threw
out his bony, cold hand, and seized his old pantaloons!

The miser clutched them with a dying grasp; words struggled in his
throat; he could not utter them; his jaw fell--he was dead!

Much curiosity was manifested by the friends and relatives to know what
could have caused the poor old man to cling to his time-worn pantaloons;
but the mystery was soon revealed--for upon examination of the linings
of the waistbands and watch-fob, over $30,000 in bank notes were there
concealed!

The Lord's pardon and human sympathy be with all such misguided and
wretched slaves of--money, say we.